Let's look back at the days before Equestria...

Long ago, in the world before it was given its name, Equus, there lived all kinds of creatures. Ponies, sure, but there were also Horses, Zebras, Deer, Moose, Cows, and many more things yet to be discovered.

They paled in comparison, however, to the creatures once known as "Mankind". Even though they lacked the physical capability to use Magic, they still had ways to manipulate the world, and bend it towards their own will... all by just using their minds to develop technology through Science and Manufacturing.

Their Scientific Methods helped make things easier in life... even going as far as Gene Manipulation, which would eventually be used to create the first intelligent Pony, and bring Griffins and Changelings into existence!

In short, they were the Founders of Equus... but at the same time, they were the ones who destroyed Earth. Using their Sciences as a weapon of genocide, they ended up freezing the sun in place, as well as the moon, which held far too many repercussions to count... in fact, it's because of those very things that the Princesses, to this day, have to move the Sun and Moon manually!

Those of us who were preserved in the Underground Stables, which were built as a safety precaution, should the opposing forces react as they did, were spared the atrocities of the End War... but after the First Alicorn, Father Time, broke free from his Stable, he used his knowledge to, eventually, evolve himself, and create Magic.

Using this Magic, he re-shaped the world, and moved the Sun and Moon in order to balance out the world's atmosphere once again. Eventually, though, he would ascend, giving his power to the world... and granting his Magic over the Sun and Moon to his two dearest daughters, Celestia and Luna.

And yet, while so much was lost during those dark times... in the end, those who survived managed to thrive into the communities that would eventually become the cities that we see today.

Despite their existence fading from the History Books, we still find a few archived notes about these Humans... for they may have been the ones who made us, but they were also the ones who nearly killed us all!

But, to be fair, they had some technology that we use, under heavy control... things like Helicopters, Computers, Games... those things!

I smile sheepishly while standing at the front entrance, while Bon-Bon continues telling me the story of Equestria... and more specifically, about Humanity's half of it.

I gulp, nodding my head in response to her questionable gaze she throws my way. "Uh-huh... a-and... as usual, you tell these stories to bring up a point, which I'm sure is going to be a very, very good one!"

"Point? No-no-no, why would I try bringing up a point about this?!" she says, before doing the whole eye-twitchy thing... yep, she's definitely bringing up a point.

I raise my hoof up and open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off. "I mean, why would I bring Humans up in the first place? It's not like you've told me thousands of stories about them in the past, right?! Right?!"

"Umm... Bonnie, you're starting to scare me..." I whimper, but she only walks up to me, smiling even wider, while her pupils shrink.

"What?! Why would I be scaring you, Lyra?! I'm your friend! I've been listening to your stories and theories of Humanity, even when others claimed it to be nothing but old mares' tales!" She wraps a hoof around my neck and begins to walk me towards the Basement Door.

"I'm pretty sure you're angry with me about something, Bonnie..." I say, only for her to turn towards me again... in a scary way.

"Angry? Pfft, nah! I'm not angry with you, Lyra... though I'm glad you're at least here to clarify something!"

"... And that is?" I hesitantly ask.

And then, she glares at me. Yep, she's angry.

She practically punches the Basement Door open, revealing the stairway. At the bottom of the stairs, however, there's a tall biped sitting on the wooden floor, covering his exposed nudity with a nervous expression adorning his features.

I'm partially happy that he's still doing well, and not doing anything that could potentially pose a risk for our safety, but due to my friend's Death Glare, I'm mostly still nervous because she might be the one risking my safety at this point.

I giggle nervously, and rub the back of my neck sheepishly. "Ohhhhh... that... r-right, well... you see, what had happened was-"

"Lyra..." Bonnie says, pinching the bridge between her eyes. "I've put up with your shenanigans for over ten years, now... so I need the absolute, honest truth. And so, I'm gonna ask you in as blunt of a way as I can ask you."

Oh, dear... not the blunt way! "B-Bonnie, I-"

"WHY IN THE FRUITY-PEBBLED FK IS THERE A HUMAN IN THE BASEMENT, LYRA?!" she roars, causing the house to shake. The human winces and closes his ears with his hands, while I, in turn, close my ears with my hooves.

"O-okay, Bonnie! Just calm down, and-"

"Don't you 'Okay Bonnie' me! I want the actual truth! No. Excuses!" Bonnie demands, pushing her snout up to mine and glaring deeply into my eyes.

I gulp and smile sheepishly, before nodding my head. "Alright! I'll talk! I'll talk!"

"Well start talking, then!" she orders once more, before backing from me, and sitting down, crossing her forelegs across her chest.

"W-well... it all started three days ago, when-"

"IT'S BEEN IN THERE FOR THREE DAYS, NOW?!"

"... Y-yeah... but I've fed him, and watered him, and-"

"IT'S NOT A FKING PET, LYRA!" she shouts in my ears, forcing me to wince and cover my ears again. When I recover, though, I glare back at her and gently press my hoof in her mouth, then push her back a couple paces.

"I know that, Bonnie! And it's a HE, FOR FK'S SAKE! Now will you let me tell you what happened, or not?!"

She takes a deep breath and sighs, before nodding her head and motioning for me to begin.

It takes me a little bit of time to calm myself. Taking a few meditative breaths, I clear my throat, and then begin my tale.

It started shortly before I packed my things in Canterlot. I had just received that letter from you, inviting me into your home here in Ponyville, when I saw my friend, Twilight Sparkle, rushing through the road in a hurry. I tried waving her attention my way, so that I could let her know, but it seemed her mind was preoccupied, so I decided to shrug it off and continue on my way back home. I asked Lemon Drops to tell her, though, since I was also in a hurry.

Anyways, once I made it home, I started to pack my things, when I noticed an odd-looking Arcane Book lying around on the floor. I knew I didn't borrow it from the library, because it didn't have a Book Card behind its cover.

So, after skimming through it, I saw that it had the potential to open up a portal within Space and Time, itself... however, the stars would have to align a certain way, which only happens once every thousand years! I knew, right then, that I had only one shot at this!

And so, I packed up only the essentials, hurried my way to Ponyville, and after we got my stuff settled in, I got to work immediately!

After going over the chants in my head, double-double-checking the runes on the ground, triple-triple-checking the placements of the candles and stuff, I opened up the book, and began to speak the words at the right time.

Thankfully, my works paid off, because as soon as I finished the words, the symbols glowed white, and as soon as the stars aligned, the portal to our world was opened!

... For only a split-second, at least. Once it picked up a reading, he popped up!

I had so many questions to ask him, but sadly, it seems he doesn't understand what we say. And when he started speaking to me, I couldn't understand him!

And so, we stuck with drawing pictures to communicate. He said that he was hungry, so I fixed him some Oat Meal, gave him some water, and let him use the restroom when needed!

Of course, I warned him about the Outside World being way too dangerous for him, using a few pictures of Ponies in Lab Coats experimenting on him... he seemed to get the picture.

And so, for the past three days, I've been hiding him inside the Basement, which is now his new home!

"And the rest, as they say, is history!" I conclude with a smile and a nod.

Bon-Bon just stares at me with an annoyed, deadpanning look. "So, wait... let me get this straight... you opened a portal to EQUESTRIA?!"

I look up and rub my snout in thought, before nodding again. "Yep... pretty much!"

I groan and plant a hoof into my face. Of all the stupid friends I've made, why did it have to be LYRA of all ponies that nearly destroys the whole world by summoning an Ancient Evil... perhaps TWO Ancient Evils?! IN MY OWN HOUSE, NO LESS!

"And... you didn't think that some other creatures would've noticed that portal, and jump at it as well?!" I ask.

She shakes her stupid little head, still smiling at me, completely oblivious of her actions! "Nope! Besides, the only inhabitable planet between here and the stars would've been the one that the human came from!"

I feel a strand of my mane unfurl. An eye twitches, while I try to visualize the apology letter I would probably be writing to Princess Celestia for killing one of her subjects...

I'm about to say something, when she shrugs it off and stands back up. "Besides! It's not like I summoned Nightmare Moon, or anything like that! That would be silly!"

... Scratch that, the letter won't be necessary. They won't even be able to find the body.

I begin to reach towards Lyra's neck with my hooves, when suddenly...

Lyra and I freeze in place, as our ears pick up the sound of something crunching.

And there it goes again! We both turn our heads towards the kitchen, and my blood runs cold, as the Human from downstairs just casually sits there, on the floor, with a bag of Potato Chips in his hands!

His eyes are staring at the bag, while he pulls another chip out, opens his mouth, and draws the chip closer.

He then reaches into the bag again, and scoops another chip. When he lifts it up into his mouth, however, his eyes trail up to Lyra and I, and he pauses.

The three of us just stare silently at each other, as if observing the threat level of our company.

I see that his muscles are far from unfit... if anything, he looks like he could best a Minotaur in an arm wrestle! And that's saying a lot!

My eyes trail down to his broad chest, his toned abs...

And his legs are crossed in front of his pelvis, where I can see brown hair gathered around his-

My cheeks immediately flush red, while Lyra whistles, impressed. I give her a glare, which she doesn't even respond to, before turning to face the Human again.

He looks between us, chip still in opened mouth, before his eyes lock onto me.

...

He then folds the top of the bag shut, rolls it in circles, and places it on the counter, before cupping his hands over his groin, and standing up.

I shield my eyes (though I doubt if Lyra does the same), and turn my head away, while I hear him side-step back into the Basement, closing the door slowly and gently.

When I hear the door close, I open my eyes and glare at Lyra.

"Maker-Dammit, Lyra! Do you even realize what you've done?!" I growl at her, making her smile sheepishly back at me.

She gently pushes me away, and shrugs her shoulders. "Relax, Bonnie! I'm sure we can get him assimilated into Ponyville no problem!"

"No, no, NO! We can't just let him wander into Ponyville! Do you even realize what happened today?!"

She rubs her snout in thought, before gasping. "Oh my gosh! The Summer Sun Celebration was today, wasn't it?!"

And again, I deadpan at her. "Wait... you mean you weren't there?!"

She shakes her head. "Nope!"

"But... but I saw you there! AND I saw you in Twilight's Library!"

"Wait, TWILIGHT MOVED HERE, TOO?!" Lyra cheerfully shouts.

"W-well, yes, but-"

"Then THERE'S our answer! If anypony knows how to figure things out, it's her! C'mon, let's-" As she starts to trot off, I quickly bite her tail and pull her back, making her fall on her belly.

"Oww... hey, what gives?!" she asks.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "No, Lyra! We will not get anypony else involved with this! If word goes out, then there could be panic on the streets! We could potentially be charged for nearly getting the world destroyed, or worse! We could get on Princess Celestia's BAD Side, and be banished from-"

"Alright, alright, sheesh! A simple 'no' could've worked..." Lyra deadpans, before standing back up and brushing her tail off.

My eye twitches again, as she casually trots into the kitchen. I turn my head, and see her pulling the bag of chips from the counter and opening the bag. She then casually trots into the living room, bag floating beside her, and sits on the sofa... in a way that looks very, very uncomfortable.

"Umm... Lyra, why are you-"

"It's how he sits! If I'm gonna make him feel more welcome here, I'll start by adopting his mannerisms, so that he doesn't feel all alone!" she replies, before levitating a chip from the bag, and levitating it up to her snout. She opens her mouth and eases the chip into her awaiting mouth.

My eye twitches again, before I trot into the kitchen. With a frustrated groan, I take a seat over in the Dining Area, and firmly slam my head into the table.

"... I need new friends..." I mumble. The sound of the chair next to me scooting back doesn't even make me budge.

However, I decide to eventually look towards the source, only to find the Human looking back at me, with his hands clasped together. I look down at the sheet of paper that he, somehow, slipped towards me.

It's a picture of a smiling face.

I look up at him, and he simply smiles and waves.

"... You don't count." I reply to him, before returning my face onto the table.

He stays there for a moment longer, before eventually deciding to leave the Kitchen.

When I lift my head from the table, I notice that he left the sheet of paper, but added another doodle below it... it's a doodle of himself standing between two ponies - a Unicorn and an Earth Pony. Likely Lyra and myself.

I stare at it for a moment, before sighing and standing from the seat.

"I can't believe I'm even considering this..." I mumble.

As I enjoy another chip, I notice the Human looking towards me with a pretty sad-looking frown. I smile warmly at him before levitating the chips his way.

He stares at the chips in awe, and he begins to smile once again. He then accepts the chips with a grateful nod, before reaching his hand back into it.

When he swallows the chip, he clears his throat and starts to say something... however, I'm unable to really understand what he's saying.

Looking at the way how his hands move, however, he appears to be gesturing towards my flank... or maybe he's just talking about the way how I'm sitting?

Whatever the case, I shrug my shoulders and reply, "Hey, don't worry, buddy! It's actually quite comfortable, once you get the hang of it!"

He tilts his head confusedly, while I giggle and lean back, relaxing my forelegs on the back of the couch.

That is, until Bonnie trots inside. She appears to have a strange red mark on her forehead, but I don't question it... after all, I can kinda-sorta guess she wouldn't want me to talk right now.

She takes a deep breath, before sighing and sitting next to me.

"So... if we're going to be keeping a human in my house, we'll have to go over some ground rules." she finally says, after a few quiet minutes of her thinking.

I look at her with a wide smile, and gasp. "Bonnie! You mean you'll let him stay?!"

She deadpans at me in response. "Not by choice... but as it stands, he'd be safest with us."

"Yay!" I cheer, only for her to place a hoof on my mouth, silencing me. "Mm-hmm!" I mumble with a nod, before motioning for her to continue.

"Rule 1. Do NOT let anypony else know about him!" she begins. I nod my head in response.

"Rule 2. Do NOT let him out of the house!"

"Ooh, you addressed him as a HE!" I interject, only for her to glare at me. Shutting up, now...

"Rule 3. If you start teaching him how to talk, do NOT misguide him. I'll buck you in the flank for every curse word he says!"

Well, there goes that prank...

"Rule 4! Do NOT make him feel uncomfortable! If you try to push any of your weird fantasies his way, and make him uncomfortable, I'll lock you in a cage, and stuff an Inhibitor on your horn!"

Gulp...

"Rule 5! If HE makes you feel uncomfortable, then let ME know, and I'll deal with it! If he persists, then I'll be sure to make him know!"

I raise a hoof, but she shushes me, making me lower it back down. I was gonna say that he might not be fully aware of the Cultural Norms, such as petting behind the ear, or touching a Unicorn's horn... n-not that I minded, but I have a feeling he figured that one out the moment I made those noises...

"Rule 6! He is not allowed in my room. Period!"

Oh, good! Then at least I can still-

"Rule 7! He is not allowed in your room, especially!"

"Oh, COME ON!" I complain, throwing my forehooves in the air. "You gotta lock him up in-"

"If he sees those drawings under your bed, how do you think he'd react?" Bonnie asks.

... Okay, that might be a good point...

"Rule 8! He's going to be wearing clothes from now on! It's clear he's a biped, but his lack of fur, and lack of a sheathe to hide his... genital area... means that he'll need something to keep himself looking decent... which speaking of...

"Rule 9! After he's been given clothing, he is not to sit naked on the sofa!"

"Umm... aren't we sitting naked on the couch, though?" I ask.

She deadpans at me. "Yes, but we still have fur, thank-you-very-much!"

I giggle at her, before nodding my head.

She then goes over a bunch more rules. I'll have to eventually go over them with Mr. Human, once we've got him properly educated!

I can't help but wonder, though... just what, exactly, is going on in his mind right now?

I really, really wish I knew what the hell's going on right now... first these colorful little pony-things drag me into their world, and next thing I know, I've gotta hide in here for a while?

At least the unicorn seems to be trying to adapt to my way of sitting... odd, and likely uncomfortable-looking, I point at her and say, "Umm... you sure you wanna sit like that?"

She shrugs her shoulders and replies with more of their odd words.

Hmm... the cream-colored one seems pretty pissed at the unicorn for some odd reason... not gonna lie, it almost feels like they're used to this kind of thing, though... might have to keep an eye on them.

They look at me and begin speaking to each other... but unfortunately, as stated before, I can't even slightly understand the words they're saying! It's all weird syllables and clicks, followed by the occasional whinny and snort... kinda a mix between words and your average horse noises.

But then, the unicorn starts drawing more things on a scroll of paper. When I get a good look at it, I see a bunch of pictures, with symbols below them.

One, in particular, is an apple. From the looks of it, there's five letters in it, just like English.

Going through the sheet of paper, I realize what this is... it's an Alphabet Chart.

With that, I smile. Communication by words?! Finally! If I study these things, then I can probably get some answers!

For all I know, they probably summoned me here because I've been chosen for some sort of quest! Yeah! And they're probably just trying to teach me their language first, so that I don't get myself in trouble!

Perhaps once I've completed this quest, they'll finally send me back home, right?

... Right?

It's been about a week now, since I've started learning their written language. While I'm still far from getting the symbols like periods and stuff, I can at least write a basic sentence, now, and kinda-sorta understand some of their written words.

However, I can also grasp a few individual words, like "Apple", "Water", and "Rock"... though that one's mostly because said three objects were constantly picked up and spoken by the unicorn, whose name... I'm guessing must be "Lyre", or something like that... at least, that's the symbol embroidered on her ass, which I really wish I could ask them about!

But I digress...

She picks the apple up, says the strange word, and I try to imitate said word. As usual, she winces while her ears fold back... yep... another flunked up word.

She then writes a note on a sheet of paper, and levitates it to me. I look at my Translation Paper, which holds MY basic alphabet with two of their symbols over each letter.

Fun fact, by the way! Apparently, the Equestrian Alphabet doesn't have 26 letters! It actually has 52, with each of the first letters actually being used for Common Nouns, like Sentences, General Object Names, and Other Sentence Stuff, while the second half is actually used for Proper Nouns, like Names, Titles, and Important Stuff!

With me so far?

...

Good, neither am I! So anyways, she's apparently telling me that I sound like, in her words, "A dying cat".

I deadpan at her, before picking up a pencil and writing a retort to her statement.

I smile sheepishly while he deadpans at me, before watching him start to write something on his paper.

I mean, sure, I didn't want to offend him or anything, but when one ruins our language as badly as he did the moment he tried saying "Apple", I just had to be honest!

So, I might've said that he sounded like a dying cat... but to be fair, perhaps he didn't quite understand it!

Oh, crap! What if he misread it, and thought I said something worse about him?! I might have to quickly write an apology, or-

He clears his throat, making me look his way. On his paper, the word "meow" is written... kinda sloppily, but definitely understandable.

I levitate the note my way, before smiling widely. I then giggle, before pointing at him. "Alright! At least we know you're getting the hang of writing, now!"

He stares at me confused, before I write an answer to him. "Good job!"

I show the paper to him, and he stares at his own little cheat sheet... not that I'm really bothered by it, of course.

So, it turns out his alphabet only has half the letters! This could be easy for me to memorize, actually!

Although... not gonna lie, it's pretty tricky how some of his words are placed. For instance, when he starts writing, he starts with a MUCH bigger version of the letters, then writes the others shorter... not sure if it's a force of habit, but it doesn't look very normal.

That being said, he showed me his own version of alphabet, and at once, I began to realize that he does have two sets of 26 letters! However, instead of using one for a whole word, he only uses one of the big letters either for the first letter of the first word of a sentence, or the first letter of a name.

Not sure why, but that just seems a little wasteful to me! It kinda makes me worry that most of the big letters are barely even used!

Ugh... new languages are hard! I need a break... and I think he does, too.

"LYRA!" Bonnie's voice echoes from the stairway. I look up and notice that, once again, she's angry at me.

"Hi, Bonnie! What did I do this time?" I ask.

She rolls her eyes and waves me towards her. "How about you come up here, and see for yourself!"

I nod my head before turning to the Human and waving at him. He at least understands that gesture, because he waves back in response.

I stand back up and make my way back into the Living Room.

It looks... pretty clean, actually. So I know it isn't that.

"Um... Bonnie? I don't see what-" She then bites my ear and pulls me into the Kitchen.

"AH! Ear! Ear!" I whine, until she releases her grip, pointing towards the refrigerator.

"Now, open it up!" she demands. I do as instructed, and open the... empty... barren fridge. "Do you see what I'm upset about?!"

I rub my head, confused. "Um... would you be upset if I told you I don't see anything in here to be upset about?"

She grips me by the back of the neck and pulls me face-to-face with her. I close an eye and fold my ears back, expecting one of her blunt shouts.

"YOU ATE ALL THE FKING FOOD, AND DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE A NOTE!"

Ow... ears...

"Oh! Riiight!" I trail, giggling nervously. "Sorry... didn't think there was a rule on that one..."

She places a hoof in her face before waving it in the air. "It's called 'Common Sense', Lyra!"

I wave a dismissive hoof her way and smirk. "Pfft! Now Bonnie, you of all ponies should know how I am when it comes to 'Common Sense', right?"

She then sighs and rolls her eyes. "Unfortunately... look, Lyra, I'm trying to be reasonable here. I'm glad that you chose to move in with me, and I'm glad you're at least keeping the Living Room clean... can't say the same about your room, but hey, I've seen worse."

She sits down at the table, while I follow suit, sitting in the chair next to hers. Then she starts to frown, before looking at me. "I want you to be happy living here, Lyra... but so far, I've been having stress-case after stress-case, and a mare can only take so much! It's been a whole week, and half the time, it feels like you only used my house to hide that Human! We haven't even had a single day to spend together!"

I sigh, and frown at her words. She... does raise a pretty good point, actually. During the week that I lived here, my main focus was on the Human, that I've completely forgotten about my friend since fillyhood!

And so, I scoot closer to her and pull her into a hug. "Aww... why didn't you say so, Bonnie? Of course we can hang out!"

She sniffles, before gently patting the back of my shoulder. "But... to be fair, you do have a Human to look after..."

I roll my eyes and wave a dismissive hoof. "Oh, pfft! Like I'd have to look after him every day of his life! He's a grown male! I'm sure he'd understand, if I leave him a note! Perhaps he can use this time to study up on our language more!"

She pulls from the hug, and looks up at the ceiling in thought. "Hmm... well, I suppose that could prevent unwelcome problems... but then again, he's also gonna need to eat something!"

I nod again and smile. "All planned out! We can do a quick shopping trip, bring him some food, write him a note, then go into the park and relax on a bench, just like old times!"

She giggles at my suggestion, but nods nonetheless. "That... sounds nice, actually."

Bonnie and I then stand from our seats and begin making our way to the Living Room. "And who knows? Maybe while we're out, we can find you a job to help pay rent!"

I nod my head and smile; her words having not registered fully just yet. "Of course, Bonnie! We can..."

I pause and blink owlishly, before looking at her confusedly. "Wait, what?"

She giggles and places a hand on the door. "Well, if you're gonna be living here, I believe we agreed you'd also be helping pay for rent!"

I throw my hooves in the air. "Oh, come on! I thought we'd thrown that out the window the minute a Human came into the picture!"

She rolls her eyes and smiles mischievously at me. "Nope! In fact, once you do find a job, I'd advise you let him know! As you said, he's an adult, so I'm sure he'll understand!"

I frown and harrumph, looking towards the Kitchen in a pout.

Eventually, though, I just sigh and begin walking towards the Kitchen again... forgot to get some paper and a pencil. "Fair enough..." I tell her, as I begin my trek.

Bon-Bon then opens the door and smiles triumphantly. "Good! Now, leave a note so we can g-uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

I flick an ear her way. With a smirk, I turn back around. "I get it, Bonnie! I'm not sl-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

The two of us stare slack-jawed at the doorway... where Princess Celestia, herself, towers over.

She leans down to get a better view of the inside of our house, and smiles warmly at us... very... unnervingly... warmly.

"Hello, my Dearest Subjects... I was wondering if I might be able to come in for a moment? I've heard that one of my Student's friends from Canterlot lives here... Lyra Heartstrings, I presume?" she asks, staring right. Directly. At. Me...

And in this sense, only one thing runs through my head, in a loop...

OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT-OH-

-SHIT-OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT!

I wonder what's going on up there...

I gulp as the Princess of the Sun, herself, sits inside the Living Room. I make sure to have her back turned against the Basement Door at all times, of course. Lyra, on the other hoof, quickly went into the Kitchen to get a pot of coffee (since we're out of Tea at the moment) boiling, so that Princess Celestia at least feels welcome before she decides to bani-

I mentally slap myself in the face. KEEP IT TOGETHER! YOU CAN DO THIS!

"So... I've not only come to speak with Lyra Heartstrings, but you as well, Bon-Bon." Princess Celestia says, clearing her throat.

My ears fold back and look up at her in a panic. "Y-you have?!" I then quickly take a deep breath and release, using an age-old Breathing Treatment that I've learned long ago.

She nods her head. "Indeed... I suppose while Miss Heartstrings is in the Kitchen, and focused on something else, we can discuss this matter relating to... well, yourself, actually."

"I... uh... m-me?" I stammer.

She smiles, before leaning a little closer towards me. Instinctively, I lean back a little, but she unfolds a wing to where she can whisper without fear of her voice being heard anywhere else.

"I know who you are... Sweetie Drops."

My blood immediately runs cold. I knew that the organization had ties with some of the most powerful Diplomats, but never was I informed that Princess Celestia herself was on the list!

"Y-you... you do?!" I ask.

She nods her head. "Indeed... rest assured, your secret is safe with me. I just wanted to make sure that my Student is safe living in this town. After all, I know that you've seen your fair share of battles, since you're the Agent of Ponyville. And furthermore, I can easily count on you to keep me informed on any... odd circumstances... that may or may not occur."

She then clears her throat. "That being said... is there anything odd that you'd care to report?"

I grin sheepishly and sink deeper into the couch. "Y-ye-NO," I clear my throat, "... I-I mean... no, Your Highness... n-nothing to report!"

DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST LIE TO ROYALTY, CANDY-FLANKS?! DO YOU REALIZE THE LEVEL OF HOW ROYALLY FKED YOU ARE JUST FOR WITHHOLDING VITAL INFORMATION FROM HER HIGHNESS, HERSELF?! my thoughts literally shout at me, imitating the voice of The Sergeant, himself.

Princess Celestia stares at me questioningly, while the sweat begins to pour from my head... of course I've been busted! She's the Princess of the Sun! The wisest of all living beings! There's absolutely no way that she'd buy that load of horse sh-

"Well, I'm glad to hear that... I'm certain Twilight will be safe with you around, Bon-Bon." Princess Celestia says, her demeanor glowing (no pun intended) with joy.

I sigh in relief, as a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

"But!"

And now, my panic is back into overdrive. I flinch when I feel her wing drape around me... but then, I notice that she's now... embracing me?

I open my eyes and look up at her. She then smiles motherly at me.

"I couldn't help but notice your unease around me... just know, that whatever ill rumors you hear of me, you can vanquish. I love my subjects as much as I love my own family... and I don't want you to think that I'd make you suffer like some sort of criminal if you accidentally let slip a few minor details..."

Oddly enough, I feel myself calming down quickly... could she be using Magic on me, though? Should... should I tell her?

...

FK NO!

"T-thank you, Princess Celestia... I'll... I'll keep that in mind." I finally reply.

She smiles at me, then nods her head, before removing her wing from my shoulders, and shifts back to her own side of the couch.

Lyra soon clears her throat, and trots inside, gliding a teapot and a few cups into the Living Room with her.

"Coffee, Your Highness?" she asks, catching Princess Celestia's gaze, and diverting it from me... much to my relief.

I'll be sure to give Lyra my thanks later.

... But then, she starts to accidentally pour coffee onto the Coffee Table. My eye immediately starts to twitch, as the poor Oak Table begins to soak up the coffee. So many stores looking for that particular type of Coffee Table... and now it's ruined, ironically, by Coffee!

... Right after I'm done beating her to a bloody pulp!

"Of course, Miss Heartstrings... thank you!" Princess Celestia says with a graceful bow.

I can already feel the sweat starting to pour from my forehead, as I shakily begin to pour the coffee over the Coffee Table. I spot Bonnie starting to do the twitchy-eye thing again, which makes me immediately straighten up the coffee pot, and move it towards the next cup.

Like the last one, it begins to miss the cup, landing smooth on the Coffee Table. I'd try to apologize to Bonnie, but I'm pretty sure she's already thinking of multiple ways to beat me to a bloody pulp.

... Not that she would, of course.

"Umm... is everything okay, Miss Heartstrings?" Princess Celestia asks, making me leap up in shock. The coffee pot jerks into the air, forcing a stream of it to fly towards Bonnie.

OH, FU-

Then a golden glow encases the coffee in the air, and overtakes my own grasp with the dishes. I look towards Princess Celestia, whose horn glows the same color.

When she looks at me, I blush and sink down, ever-so-slightly.

"S-sorry, Your H-Highness..." I stammer, only for her glow to encase me, and lift me over towards her.

I gulp, and am half-tempted to scream, when she gently sets me beside her, and drapes a caring wing around me.

In truth, I'm supposed to feel comfortable with hugs, but... well, something about this one makes me want to hyperventilate!

"And the same goes for you as well, Miss Heartstrings." Princess Celestia begins, catching my attention.

"W-wha?" I blurt out, only for her wing to pull me closer into a warm hug.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me, Miss Heartstrings. I know you and my pupil were good friends back in Canterlot, so I just wanted your advice on this town."

"M-my... advice?" I ask, as my nerves begin to tense at where this may be going.

"Indeed... I wanted to know from your experiences here if Twilight Sparkle would be safe in this town." she clarifies.

I gulp, as I once again grow more nervous. I could just tell her "yes" and be done with it, but on the flip-side, I... might have one of the worst Poker-Faces out there!

And so, I'm trapped in a moral dilemma... should I tell her, or... or should I... s-should I...

I look into her warm gaze, and at once, my eyes begin to water.

"I-I... d-don't know, Your Highness..." I finally mumble.

She tilts her head confusedly. "You... don't know? Why not?" she asks, more out of curiosity than out of anger. But that only makes it worse!

And so, I decide to face the music. Of course I won't tell her everything, but... perhaps I can at least get something off my chest that's been bothering me.

"I... m-might have hired a few buddies of mine to disguise themselves as me, so that I can stay inside a bit longer...?" I confess.

Her confusion only grows. "Oh? And why is that, exactly?"

I gulp before sighing. The tears finally leave my eyes, as I fess up.

"B-because... because it's my fault."

"And... what is your fault, exactly?" she asks.

I turn my head away from her. "I-I... I'm the reason Nightmare Moon came back, and nearly threatened Equestria."

I place a hoof over my mouth to hold back my gasp.

No, no, no! Lyra, what the hay are you doing?!

"I'm the reason why the world was covered in extended darkness for an extra day... a-and... and I... I... I'm the reason why y-your student had to go into the Everfree Forest to save the day... s-so... I-"

Before Lyra could finish, however, Princess Celestia pulls her into an even deeper hug, forelegs and all... something I've not actually seen her do before!

That, and cry like the way she's doing now.

"P-Princess?" Lyra asks, only for Princess Celestia's wing to gently pet Lyra's mane.

"It's alright, Miss Heartstrings... that was fated to happen, and... and now I see, that I owe you a debt that I can never fully repay..."

"B-but Princess, I-"

"- You... simply followed in the path that Father Time paved out for you. You helped spark my Student's path of Friendship, that I know will bring her one step closer to greatness... but most importantly, you helped bring my sister back to me, after a thousand years of painful memories and regret... and the fear that Fate, itself, would turn a blind eye towards us." Princess Celestia says, while smiling graciously at Lyra.

... Wow... for once, I actually feel proud of Lyra! Owning up for one of her mistakes... I never thought I'd actually see the day!

Okay, scratch all of the mean things I've thought about her before. She's definitely redeemed herself, after a heartfelt confession like that!

"I-I... I'm at a loss for words, P-Princess..." Lyra stammers, as they break from the hug and sit in a more casual posture... though Lyra still seems to be sitting like the Human, but I decide not to bring it up.

"It's quite alright, Miss Heartstrings... though I do have to ask, how exactly did you accomplish such an amazing feat?" Princess Celestia asks.

Lyra smiles and waves a dismissive hoof her way. "Oh, I just read a strange book that showed up from out of nowhere!"

My smile soon falters. Don't do it, Lyra!

"A... strange book? Do you still have it, by any chance?" Celestia asks, rubbing her snout curiously.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

She nods her head. "Yup! It's in the basement over there!" she says, pointing towards the basement door.

Her eyes then shoot open, and she immediately shoves her hoof in her mouth.

"Oh... mind if I see?" Princess Celestia asks, as her horn starts to glow. The aura covers the basement door's handle, and the knob turns, before the door starts to slowly creak.

... I'M GOING TO FKING KILL YOU, LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!

It's almost like time, itself, freezes for me. I can already hear my Voice of Reason within my head already starting with the Verbal Assault... and as usual, it's in Bonnie's Voice.

WHAT THE NOT-SO-ACTUAL FK WERE YOU THINKING?!

I-I don't know! I panicked, alright?! T-then dropped my guard, and-

AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET A RIPOSTE FROM HER FKING MAJESTY ONCE YOUR ACTUAL SECRET'S BEEN FOUND OUT!

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "RIPOSTE" MEANS!

NEITHER DO I, I'M JUST YOUR SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS!

AAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAH!

"W-WAIT!" I finally call out, as my aura immediately covers Princess Celestia's shutting the door back once again.

She raises a curious eyebrow. "Yes, Miss Heartstrings? Is something wrong?"

I smile nervously before shaking my head. "W-wha?! No! Nothing's wrong! I-it's just that... well... the Basement's a mess!"

"It... is?"

"Y-yeah! It's, uh... i-it's kinda... embarrassing, really, but-"

The door slowly starts to open on its own... or so I think, when I notice the Human standing RIGHT THERE AT THE ENTRANCE!

Thankfully, Bonnie notices and takes action!

The Human opens the door slowly, eyeing the scenery curiously. Seeing that Princess Celestia's distracted by Lyra dragging the sentence, however, my instinct kicks into overdrive, as I already know a dragged sentence would lead to boredom, which leads to side-glances... and right now, a side-glance is the killing point we do NOT want to cross right now!

"I-IT'S REALLY EMBARRASSING!" I shout out, causing the Princess and Lyra to jump up... and the Human, who raises a confused eyebrow my way... oh, if only I could KINDLY TELL HIM TO FK OFF SO HE DOESN'T GET US ALL IN TROUBLE!

With their attention my way, I smile sheepishly and scratch the back of my neck. "S-sorry, Princess... I promise I didn't yell at you... it's, uh... j-just a really touchy subject."

I then look towards Lyra and then drift my eyes towards the door.

She notices as well, and quickly uses her horn to slam it shut once again. However, she winces while I internally face-hoof, as Princess Celestia's attention is drawn back to the door.

Oh, we are so screwed!

"Ah... sorry, I, um... had no idea!" Princess Celestia apologizes, before looking my way again.

Inconveniently enough, the door creaks open again, and the Human deadpans at us.

REALLY, HUMAN?! HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THE PICTURE YET, AFTER WE SLAMMED THE FKING DOOR IN YOUR FACE?!

Then Lyra finally gets the bright idea of using her magic to pull him inside the Living Room! He stumbles and falls, but I spot a green aura cover his body before he falls out of view... conveniently catching him, while Princess Celestia looks towards the now opened Basement Door!

"Hmm... odd, it doesn't look that dirty to me..." she comments.

And then, a loud grumble can be heard coming from behind the couch.

Lyra quickly pats her belly, and shouts out, "WHEW! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, PRINCESS CELESTIA, BUT I SURE AM HUNGRY!" She then smiles unbearably wide, while swinging a hoof downward, in an enthusiastic, yet obviously fake, show of confidence.

"I... can imagine so?" Princess Celestia says confusedly.

And then, Lyra grips both of Princess Celestia's cheeks and leans her own head mere inches from hers, making my eye twitch once again, as I imagine my poor foolish friend's fate now getting closer and closer towards banishment to the moon... or worse, the Sun!

"HEY! You should TOTALLY try some of Bonnie's Sweet Cakes! They are A-MAY-ZING!" she says, before pointing towards me.

I twitch and smile widely as well, while trying very, very hard not to slug Lyra in the face.

"R-right... cake..." I say with clenched teeth.

Princess Celestia gently pulls from Lyra's grasp, and thankfully, smiles... unfazed by Lyra's lack of manners!

"Hmm... well, I do enjoy a good cake, or two..."

As soon as the Human's head pops up from behind the couch, I quickly rush towards Princess Celestia and guide her off the couch, making extra sure to keep her from facing towards the Human.

"Well, then you're in luck, Your Highness! Here, let me show you one of my favorite types of cake! A-and if you like it, then maybe I can write you a copy of the recipe!" I say cheerfully, while whipping my tail to the side slightly, motioning to Lyra.

Please, oh PLEASE don't be dull enough to miss this!

I see Bonnie's tail whipping towards the confused Human, who's starting to stand back up. I immediately tap his shoulders, catching his attention.

I then hold a hoof over my mouth, in a shushing manner, then shake my head "No".

He tilts his head confusedly, before looking towards Princess Celestia, then back at me. Finally, he motions towards the Princess, and I shake my head again.

I then point towards Princess Celestia, then to him, and run my hoof in front of my neck, in a cutting manner.

His eyes immediately widen, and he holds a hand over his mouth, now looking between Princess Celestia and I in shock. He then points at her, then at himself, and imitates the motions I did.

When I nod my head at him, his head sinks down in his shoulders, and he crouches in a hiding position.

Good... he at least understands Body Language! I think to myself.

He starts to sneak towards the Basement Door, but I quickly grip him and shake my head, before motioning towards the opposite side of the couch.

He nods his head and changes his route to the couch... and not a moment too soon when he curls up, when Princess Celestia's voice calls out!

"Miss Heartstrings? Would you care to join us?" she asks, poking her head towards the Living Room.

I smile and nod, before replying, "Y-yeah, of course Your Highness! I just... uh... n-need to freshen up a little bit! Be there in a sec!"

As soon as her head is no longer in view, I motion for the Human to follow me. We manage to sneak into the stairway, but by the time he reaches the corner at the landing area, I hear Princess Celestia's boots clop on the Kitchen Tiles.

Instinctively, I use my magic to shove the Human into a prone position, but catch him before he could actually land, then stand in-between him and the Princess, herself, as she walks into the Living Room once again.

"Actually, that does raise a good point, Miss Heartstrings! Would you mind if I do the same?" she asks, as she places a hoof on the bottom step.

"W-well, I, uh..." I sweat profusely, now stuck in a hairy situation!

BONNIE! HELP!

I gasp in shock as Princess Celestia gets way too close for comfort! I managed to spot the Human going up the stairs, but sure enough, the look Lyra's giving is practically SCREAMING for me to help.

"Uh, P-Princess!" I call out, causing the Regal Mare to turn my way. I see the shadow of the Human being flung up the stairs, and wince when I hear a thump on the carpet... a thump that does not go unnoticed by Princess Celestia, who turns back towards Lyra.

Lyra immediately lifts a hoof and winces, before making a fake whine.

"Oww... darn stairway! Jeez, that hurt!" she whines.

Princess Celestia looks concerned at her, before taking another step up. "Oh, my goodness! Are you alright, Miss Hearts-"

"OH, HEY LOOK! ALL BETTER, NOW! BE-RIGHT-DOWN-IN-A-SEC!" And with that, she dashes up the stairs, actually thumping a hoof on it in the process.

"GAH! OWWIE! SON OF A... MOTHER-HUMPING... HMMMM!" she yells, with the last bit involving her biting her lips shut.

"I... think I'd better check on her, right q-" Princess Celestia begins, but I cut her off.

"I'LL DO IT!" I call out, causing Princess Celestia to recoil, and turn towards me.

I smile sheepishly, before whispering, "Sorry..." I then shake my head and clear my throat. "Uh... what I meant to say is... I'll go check up on her, while you can use the Kitchen Sink to wash your hooves!"

"... Excuse me? Use the Kitchen Sink to wash my hooves?" Princess Celestia asks, eyeing me even more curiously, though now with a hint of disbelief in her eyes!

SHIT! IMPROVISE! NOW!

"B-but of course, Your Majesty! Isn't that normal in the Royal Palace?" I ask, only for her to look at the Kitchen Sink curiously.

"Well... no, not really. There are strict rules against using a Kitchen Sink in the Royal Palace to wash the Royal Hooves in such an... environment... no offense, of course." she says.

I quickly rush towards her and motion towards the Kitchen Sink. "W-well, maybe that's the case in the Royal Palace... but haven't you been tempted to use a Kitchen Sink to wash your hooves, regardless of the rules?"

She rubs her snout in thought. "Well... now that you mention it... I never was allowed to as a filly... however, I have been tempted time and time again... though said temptations were quickly diminished due to all eyes being on me."

I smile even wider at her and giggle, gulping down whatever nervousness I've had... and dignity that went with it. "Well then, lucky for you that you're in Ponyville, Your Highness! Why, I can see you looking at that Kitchen Sink that's been taunting you for all these years! Just waiting for the Royal Hooves to be washed inside them! C'mon, Your Highness, give your Rebellious Side a try!"

She blinks owlishly at the sink, before looking towards me with... a frown! Or is it a GLARE?!

"You know what?" she asks coldly, causing me to shrink at her gaze. She leans closer... then... smiles?

"You're absolutely right!"

I... wha?

I raise my hoof in question, but she beats me to the punch. "I haven't been able to properly relax in over a millennia! And with so many absurd rules that constantly get in the way... why... it gets revolting!"

"R-right... right?" I stammer, but she goes on with a speech.

"In fact, there's even rules on how many steps I have to take each second, how high my snout has to be when standing, and how arched my back has to be while sitting! Honestly, it's almost like I'm less of a Pony, and more of a Title! And then there's the Dignitaries that think that they own the world, when I'm literally the only one... or rather, I was the only one... that kept said world from either freezing in Eternal Night, or burning in Eternal Sunlight!"

I stand there silently, while she just takes deep breath after deep breath, her frustrations having been vented to some degree. Then I raise a hoof up and say, "W-well, uh... g-good thing this isn't the Royal Palace, right Your Highness? You can feel free to be yourself, and nopony will judge you!"

She sighs and smiles at me, then bows her head respectfully. "Then... in that case, can you do me a favor, please, Miss Bon-Bon?"

I nod my head and kneel to the ground. "O-of course, Your Highness!"

"... Just call me 'Celestia', if you don't mind." she says, causing me to fall on my snout.

"Gah! W-wha?!"

"If you're truly alright with me dropping the formalities, then I'd like to request that you do the same, please." she clarifies.

I blink owlishly before standing back up and scratching the back of my neck nervously. "A-are... are you just pulling my leg, P... uh... Celestia?"

She immediately glares at me and unfurls her wings. "How DARE you insult my Royal Title?!" she nearly yells.

SHIT! NOW YOU'VE REALLY FKED IT UP!!!

I fall to the ground and shiver, apologizing profusely. However, she drapes a wing over me, and pulls me into a warm hug... which kinda-sorta doesn't have its full effect like last time, if I'm being honest...

She then giggles. "Oh, goodness me... sorry, sorry! I, uh... it's just that I haven't had the opportunity of joking like that in a long time!"

Well, to be fair, considering you can just wipe someone's life out of their eyes by BLINKING, I can... kinda see why... my mind says for me, but I manage to keep silent... thankfully...

"Uh... h-heheh... good one, Your H-" She places a hoof over my snout, and looks into my eyes warmly.

"Although I am serious, Bon-Bon... if you don't mind me being myself, then please, don't feel the need to not be yourself! Especially in your own house, of all places!"

This time, I can actually feel the honesty in her words. I stop shivering, and smile at her, before nodding my head.

"I, uh... I don't mind at all, P... uh... C..."

She then pulls from the hug and nods her head knowingly. "If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you can still address me as you please... but know that it's not an Obligation now, so long as we're speaking casually, and not on Formal Occasion."

I nod me head once again, and sigh in relief. "Well, in that case... why don't you get washed up, and I'll go check and make sure Lyra didn't kill herself upstairs?"

Celestia giggles at my wording, but nods nonetheless. "Of course, Bon-Bon. And, uh... are you sure I can use the-"

"Oh, by all means! If anything, it would be an honor that my Kitchen Sink make history, as the first Kitchen Sink you've used to wash your hooves with!"

She then smiles smug at me, and winks. "Then in that case, you better take note, Bon-Bon... for history is now in the making!"

And with that, and a nervous giggle, I rush upstairs, while I hear the Kitchen Sink start up.

LYRA! WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING WITH THE HUMAN UPSTAIRS?!

After rushing the Human upstairs, I quickly motion for him to follow me into my room. Upon entering, however, I wince when I apply pressure on my injured hoof, then lift it up.

I eye it tearfully, as it starts to bruise up in a very irritating spot, and place it in my mouth.

"Oww... fk, that hurts!" I whimper, only to notice the Human approach me curiously.

He motions for me to give him my hoof. I blink owlishly before nodding my head and placing the injured hoof in his hand.

He then leans closer to it, and hums, before rubbing his chin in thought. Then he pokes and prods at a few spots, eyeing me every now and then.

O-oh, my sweet, sweet Maker alive... h-his hands feel so... so... amazing!

When he reaches the bruised area, however, I hiss and reel back, but he manages to keep my hoof in his grasp. Though he nods his head, before looking at my First Aid Kit that I've placed on my dresser.

... Not gonna say why. Let's just say I enjoy a few experiments, and might've hurt myself a few times on said occasions...

Anyways, he reaches into the kit, and begins to fish through the packets, until he finds one that contains Aloe Vera Paste in it. He shows it to me, as if wondering what it is... or perhaps he's asking me permission to apply it?

Regardless, I nod my head for him to continue.

He releases my hoof from his grasp and takes the corner of the packet with both hands. Finally he pulls on the packet in two different directions, causing it to tear open! And he didn't even need scissors!

Wow... who knew hands could be so... well... HANDY?! I think in awe, as he begins to gently apply the treatment to my bruise.

The paste begins to work almost immediately, as the pain starts to subside... but then, he pulls out a roll of bandages, and starts unwinding it over my hoof.

I wince slightly as he makes his way over the bruise, but eventually, he covers the whole area, along with a bit of extra space around it, and tears the end of the tape similar to how he opened the Aloe Packet.

When he has it completely covered, he calmly grasps my bandaged hoof and gently pats the top of it, nodding his head with an accomplished smile.

I smile back at him, while my cheeks begin to flush. "T-thank you..." I whisper.

And for once, I have a feeling he actually understood what I said! He nods his head and raises a thumb up... a gesture I've noticed a few Minotaurs do before.

It's then almost like the world around me goes pink, as I look deeply into his eyes... his beautiful, Human eyes... his determined smile, his beautifully chiseled jawline, and his amazing Human muscles...

Oh, how I would love to finish teaching him our language, so that I can start getting to know him... the thought of him picking me up, squeezing my Cutie Marks... and maybe one of these days, he'll make me his mare! The mass of his Muscles, only partial in comparison to the size of his-

Why am I getting one of those "Mixed Feelings" vibes? Like... all I did was help her with an injury! Wait, did I do something wrong?! Is she bringing her hoof up to my face?! Wait, WHY IS SHE LICKING HER LIPS WITH THAT STARE?!

And finally, those husky lips pressed firmly into my own... oooh, I can hardly wait for-

"LYRA! WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FK ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" Bonnie's shouting immediately makes me leap up. My eyes quickly dart towards the door, which is quickly bashed open. And inside, storms an angry-looking Bon-Bon.

I smile sheepishly at her, while the Human, in turn, backs up nervously.

She ignores him, however, and begins to stomp up to me, glaring daggers.

"Oh, uh... h-HI, Bonnie!" I say, only for her to raise a hoof up... more than enough to make me flinch.

R-right... think I'll retract my statement on her NOT beating me to a pulp!

But then, she sighs and places a hoof on my shoulder. I look up at her, and notice that she's looking let-down.

"Lyra... I don't know whether to punch you first, or ask you why you had to open your big yap at the least. Convenient. Time!"

"But Bonnie, I-"

"SHH... let me finish!" she whispers, making me go silent. I nod my head, and motion for her to continue.

"You had one job, Lyra... ONE. Job! Just hug it out, shrug it off as one of those 'Unsolvable Mysteries', and not mention the book... or heck, tell her you LOST it, or something! THEN we could've just gone on with our lives, and NOT play Death's Game of Hide 'n Seek with Princess Celestia, who may now be thinking of writing us off as two of the most unorthodox, unruly, MOST INSANE PONIES IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA!"

"Heh... beware, Vile Grime, for thy stains hold NO match against... the Kitchen Sink!" I mumble to myself in delight, as I wash my hooves in the first Kitchen Sink of many...

Oh, how I just love how much more easygoing these ponies are! I may just have to schedule visits here more often, if the locals are this open-minded!

My ears flick at the sound of commotion upstairs. Curious, I turn the sink off and use my Magic to dry my hooves, before slipping them back into my Golden Boots. I then trot towards the Stairway, and hear Bon-Bon's muffled yelling... it doesn't sound pleasant!

Perhaps Miss Heartstrings hurt herself even worse than she thought?! I must check on her, at least!

And so, I start to trot upstairs, calling out, "Um... Miss Bon-Bon? Is everything alright up there?"

Bon-Bon and I gasp at the sound of Princess Celestia's voice. I see the doorknob starting to glow gold, so I quickly use my own Magic and lock the door.

"Uh, y-yeah! Yeah, everything's alright, Celestia! Just, uh... helping Lyra out with something real quick!" Bonnie calls back.

"Are you sure everything's alright? Maybe I can help you with-"

"N-nah, I'm pretty sure we can find it, Princess!" I call out, only to gulp when the Golden Aura hovers over the lock!

I look at the Human, then motion for him to hide underneath my bed.

He looks at the bed confusedly, while I roll my eyes. Once I hear the door's lock click, however, I ignore the sense of reason and levitate the bed up, then move the Human underneath it. I then angle him flat against the floor, and lower the bed over him, where my... rather largely acquainted stacks of secret reading material surrounds him from head to toe.

"SERIOUSLY, LYRA?! HE'S GONNA THINK WE'RE NUTS, TOO, NOW!" Bon-Bon whispers angrily, before quickly straightening her posture up once the door creaks open.

"Just trust me, Bonnie! It's a good plan!" I whisper back to her, straightening my own posture.

"Plan?! WHAT plan?! You've NEVER had a plan, because every time you tried to plan something, somepony would either end up getting hurt, embarrassed, or-"

"Oh! Pardon me, I thought this was the Dressing Room!" Princess Celestia says, backing up slowly.

I, of course, wave a dismissive hoof her way. "Wha?! Nah, we usually use our bedrooms for that here in Ponyville! C'mon in!"

Bonnie's hoof immediately jabs into my side, causing me to wince and rub the hurt spot. I deadpan back at her, while she only keeps up a nervous smile.

"Are... you sure about that? I wouldn't want to intrude, or any-" she pauses, however, and at once, I notice her have an eye-twitch... oh, no... she's looking at my bed!

"Are those... books... underneath the bed?" she asks, her calm demeanor suddenly broken.

I quickly follow her gaze, and gulp, before waving my hooves up in a stopping motion. "W-wait, Princess! Y-you do not want to-"

"I'm sorry, Miss Heartstrings, but the misuse of Literary Works may seem harmless, but leaving this many books underneath a bed could potentially mean that you show no respect for Literature... which I'm sure Twilight will need to know."

"N-no, you don't understand! Y-you see, these books-"

"Are being used to hide something, aren't they?" she asks.

The color soon leaves my fur, as I stare in shock... d-did she know from the start?!

She then closes her eyes and lowers her horn. The magic glow begins to surround the whole bed, before she lifts it up. I close my eyes, and cover my head, awaiting the unquestionable truth...

I've been caught!

...

"Oh... o-oh, my!" I hear her call out in shock. I sigh and open my eyes.

"S-sorry, Princess... I-I know it's inexcusable for me to-"

"N-no, no, no, I should be the one apologizing, Miss Heartstrings! I-I had no idea that these were... w-well... those kinds of books!" the Solar Princess stammers, backing up slightly with an embarrassed cough.

I look at the book that immediately falls from her Grasp... a book she might've pulled from under the bed, and immediately, my face starts to turn red. I look up, and sure enough, Princess Celestia's entire face is already red.

"Y-yeah... I, uh... h-have a pretty bad habit t-that, um..."

She waves a dismissive hoof my way. "N-no, no, no! It's all just part of growing up! And, uh... i-if you, erm... t-think that books such as those don't belong on a Bookshelf, then who am I to judge, right?! I-I mean, as long as they don't appear in the library, or..."

She then moves a wing towards her ears and gasps. "Oh! Well, would you look at that! I think that the guards may be looking for me, now! G-guess I better get going, then! W-wouldn't want to take up too much of your time, would I?"

As she says that, she begins to make her way towards the entrance, with Bonnie and I guiding her along the way.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay, Princess? I-I mean, I don't want you to think that-"

"No, no, no, it's fine!" Princess Celestia replies, bowing graciously... though now that I mention it, her wings do look painfully stiff, right now... eh, must be an Alicorn thing, or something.

"Well, uh... if you need anything, you know where we live!" Bonnie calls out, smiling and waving.

I join her with the waving, while she, in turn, bows her head graciously and steps out of the house.

We quickly shut the door, lock it, and stare out the windows, while watching the Pegasus Chariot fly the princess all the way into the clouds, and out of view.

I then blink owlishly, completely surprised that my plan actually worked for a change!

Bonnie, however, deadpans at me. "... Don't say it."

I grin back at her and pump a hoof into the air. "Woo-hoo! Saved by the Porn! I fking told you my plan would work, didn't I?!"

"Ugh..." Bonnie begins, before planting a hoof into her face so strong, she falls back-first onto the floor, and groans.

I giggle nervously at her, before heading back over to the stairs. "Well, I better get back to the Human! Let 'em know the coast is clear!"

I can't believe that actually worked... I can't believe we've survived that ordeal! And most of all... I can't believe Lyra ended up getting us out of that mess... using that particular method!

Sitting up, I rub my forehead, and the incoming migraine that's sure to form within the next few days of putting up with these kinds of shenanigans!

Although, I smile lightly, remembering the trouble Lyra and I would sometimes get ourselves into when we were fillies... a wave of nostalgia hits the air, and I breathe it in coolly.

But then, my snout starts to pick something else up... something that doesn't smell very pleasant.

Almost like something's... burning...

My eyes widen in realization, before I make a mad dash towards the Kitchen.

"OH, SHIT! MY SWEET CAKES!" I shout.

Three weeks... just a little over a week short of a whole month, now. It's actually quite amazing how much progress I've made with their language, as far as writing goes!

... Then again, I guess not having much else to do to distract me can play a huge role in that.

I can now read and write a pretty good bit of their alphabet, though when it comes to names and such, I still need my Cheat Sheet for that.

Basically, I've got the first half of their alphabet memorized... so now, it's just a matter of memorizing the second half.

At least there's a few notable names that I was quickly taught by the Lyre Unicorn, whose name I've come to learn is "Lyra Heartstrings"... eh, at least my original guess wasn't that far off!

Then the cream-colored pony's name is Bon-Bon. At first I thought it was BoneBon, due to the way how their "e" is written being very similar to a dash... but as it turns out, they are very precise with the alignment of the line. Just a simple nudge in the wrong direction, or to the side... just a very slight curve, or a very precise angle difference, and it's a completely different symbol or letter... who knew?

But that was, thankfully, fixed when Lyra translated it into English for me... something that caught me off guard, to say the least.

As it turns out, not only am I learning their language, but they're also taking the time to learn mine! Gotta admit, it feels nice to know that they're at least trying to be considerate.

Sure, there was that awkward moment two weeks ago that we swore never to speak of again.

Let's just say that, after being crammed underneath a bed for about ten minutes, I took the time to see what the strange books were that scared Princess Celestia off. At first glance, I thought that it was just some sort of Fashion Magazine... until I opened the first page of the book that she grabbed.

Not gonna lie, I almost felt jealous of the stallion on the picture... but then again, this world changed me in many more ways than one, so said jealousy was short-lived, while I gave the quickly-closed book a cocky grin... I... could've probably worded that better, actually.

Oh, yes, I wasn't out of shape back on Earth. Far from it! But I can promise you that my abs, my muscles, and all of my body weren't as... well-toned as they are now! It's almost like the Magic that was used in that portal had some side-effects to it!

In fact, when Lyra threw me up the stairs, I was half-tempted to scream out of fear of being hurt... but when I landed, I didn't even feel any pain! I checked my arms, and found that I didn't even get a Carpet Burn, despite being dragged onto the carpet!

At first I thought I might've been given some kind of Super-Strength... but when I tried to lift the bed up with one hand, I was a bit... disappointed. It was still a pretty heavy obstacle, to say the least. I'd have to use both hands to make it budge.

In other words, no Super-Strength. I was so tempted to say, "Holy shit, I'm Superman!" as well, if I did have such a blessing... Sigh...

On the bright side, though, I may not be strong... but I've definitely improved in Endurance! In-between running in place and doing push-ups, I found that I could probably run a Million Marathons before I even break a sweat! Sure, not as fast as a rocket, but maybe this world's gravity gives me enough speed to catch up with these ponies?

Eh, I digress.

So I've figured out the basics of writing, so now it's time I focus on the next half of it... speaking.

I sit down on the carpet in the Basement Room, and start to repeat the phrases that Lyra speaks... slowly. Though at first I've been doing an awful job, I've kinda-sorta started practicing the speaking part as well as writing early on, so it's not like I'm completely out of it!

"Ap͝ples t̕a̧st̨e gǫod!̛" she tells me. I repeat after her.

"A͘͞͡͡p̸͘͝͠p͏̢̀͠ĺ͠e͢͏̶҉͘ş̧ ̵̛͏̛t͡a̵̢͜͟s̸͢҉͝t̵̀͞e̛͜ ̶͏̶͝͡gǫ̵͝o̸͢͏̷d̛̀̀̀!̨̧͡͏" ... I never said I could repeat it perfectly, dammit!

She winces at my horrible accent, but clears her throat again.

"<Apples taste good!>" she writes for me. This time I'm certain of what she said!

"Ápp̴͘l̷̢e͘s̡̡͜ ̛͟͞ta̢͜s̷͏t̕e͝ ̀͝g̵o̷od!̡" I reply.

She seems content enough with this, and nods her head in approval.

"<Good job! Though maybe a little less pitch on the 'L', and a bit faster on the 'S', if that's alright?>" she tells me... via writing.

I chuckle and scratch the back of my neck. I then use one of the pre-written cards I've made, and hold it out for her.

"<Sorry!>"

She waves a dismissive hoof, before replying with another card. "<It's alright!>"

She then talks to me again. "Yo̵u̕'r̡̢͜e ͝ḑ̛͢o̶͟i̶̴̡n͜g͝҉ ͏͟a̴ ̸gŗ̛͜è͟at̨̛͞ ̨͡j̨͜͡o̷͢b!̡"

I take a moment to figure out the words, but when I do, I smile and nod my head in appreciation.

"Th́a̧͟ņ̛̕͢͠ks̕!̴̶͠͠͏" I reply to her.

She takes a moment to understand my accent as well, before nodding her head approvingly.

Heh... won't be long until I've figured this shit out!

Sure I won't be able to speak perfectly, what with the differences between our jaw structures, and all that, but hey. At least I'll be able to understand what they say!

I shift my gaze over to the door when I hear it creaking open. Bon-Bon walks inside, and looks in-between the two of us.

She then starts to speak, though I'm not quite accustomed to her accent just yet... still have to go over accents with Lyra.

Speaking of, I can at least pick up "Lyra" and "Come". It's then made clear she needs to borrow her friend for a moment, what with the whole 'beckoning' hoof motions.

Lyra pouts at her, which makes me chuckle slightly.

Man, one would ALMOST think they're a couple... though after seeing some of the cover art on those books, I'd wager a guess that Lyra's bisexual... not that it's MY right to judge, of course. Ponies, Magic, who knows? Maybe it's a cultural thing?

"Aww, but B̸̡̨͢ó́̀n̡̕͟n͘҉͠҉͞į͟͡e̛͢͟͠!̢́" she whines to her friend. I can't quite tell what she calls her friend, sadly enough... "Bon" but with more attached to the end of it... must be some kind of nickname. Wouldn't surprise me if she calls her "Bonnie", to be honest... kinda flows with the tongue.

Regardless, I smile and nod at Lyra, motioning for her to go with Bon-Bon... but then Bon-Bon clears her throat, and starts to speak to me... again, in her odd accent.

Lyra motions for her to slow down, before looking at me, and translating it for her.

"<You should come too!>" she says.

This makes me raise a curious eyebrow. For a brief moment, I forget to speak Equish, and instead, result to asking in English.

"Uh... where?"

"#̴̢̨͢͞#̷͜͟...̕͡ ͟͞͏͞#̴̵̸͘#̕͏̶#̡̧̛͘##?" I hear him say something in, what he said was, "English". Gotta admit, I've got no idea what his language sounds like, but-

"What did he say?" Bonnie asks me.

I smile and take his hand by my Magic Aura to help him onto his feet... which he does with a little hesitation.

"Sounds like an 'Alright' to me! So c'mon, let's go!" I reply.

Bonnie looks unsure, but in the end, we all make our way up to the Living Room...

... then upstairs...

... and finally, at Bonnie's Bedroom Door! I stop in place, and deadpan at her.

"Wait, didn't you say something about bringing him into your room?" I ask inquisitively.

She deadpans at me. "Didn't I say something about bringing him into your room?"

... Touche.

I shrug my shoulders, dropping the subject.

She opens her door, where I see... that her room now has a ponnequin shaped like a human in the center. Should I call it a hummequin? Mannequin?

Eh, that last one sounds kinda lame. Hummequin it is!

And yet, on that hummequin, I immediately notice a light brown tunic wrapped around its chest, lowering to its knees!

I stare at it in awe, before shaking the stupor from my eyes. "Wait a minute... Bonnie, did you get Rarity to tailor this? I thought you said that we'd keep him from being exposed to the public!"

She rolls her eyes and replies, "I didn't, Lyra. I made the tunic, myself!"

This catches me off guard. "Wait... you made this tunic?"

She nods her head, folding her forelegs over her chest. "Yeah... why do you ask?"

I chuckle lightly, before rubbing the back of my neck. "Heh... it's just that... well... I never took ya for the tailoring type!"

She smirks back at me, replying, "Oh, trust me, Lyra. There's a lot more about me than you realize!"

I roll my eyes, and wave a dismissive hoof. "Riiight... what's next, you work for some sort of secret organization that hunts down the paranormal and stuff?"

I don't even bother looking her way, as I eye the tunic, impressed by the design.

SHIT! HOW DOES SHE KNOW?! ... Wait a minute... no, keep it together! She's Lyra FKING Heartstrings! She's just as daft as a filly being educated by a pile of nine-year-old rocks that were tutored by a pile of donkey dung!

I look at the shirt... or rather, tunic, by the looks of it, and give a rather impressed whistle. Not gonna lie, I've been feeling very uncomfortable being in the nude all this time, even though the ponies here don't seem to wear anything, themselves.

It was especially discomforting when I had to avoid Lyra's gaze that always seems to trail a little lower than I'd like. Granted, I'm sure it's mostly just her being curious about my... differences... but even still, that doesn't make it any easier! Especially when she starts to feel very uncomfortably close to that area!

I've lost count how many times I had to push her hoof off of my leg, just so I can combat the very unwanted blood flowing down South. Weeks of being pent-up, most likely!

... Changing the subject, lest it become a problem once again, at this very inconvenient time!

I nod my head in appreciation towards Bon-Bon. I then tell her, "Thanks!" in English, though I also mentally facepalm at the thought of her not knowing what the hell I said shortly after.

Thankfully, Lyra clarifies, having heard me say it timelessly.

Two-Way Learning at its finest!

"T͟͜h̡at̴͡'͟s͝ ̷̸h̀͠is ͏w̸̨̛a͝y͟͟͝ ̧̡͘o̸͘͡f́ ͠͝sa̷͘y̷̸i̛҉n̶̢̕g ͜'̢͜Ţ͡h̶͘a̸n̡͢k Y̷͟o̷͟͟u͡͝'͝.̕" she tells her.

"Ooooh..." Bon-Bon replies, before nodding her head at me, and saying, what I'm guessing is her way of saying "You're welcome".

I then fight the urge to scratch behind her ears. After doing that with Lyra once, she gasped and made some... very inappropriate moans. The same kind when I accidentally touched her horn while petting her mane.

Basically, mane-petting is the closest show of affection I can give them without the risk of sexually harassing them.

And again, we change the subject!

I walk over to the mannequin, which actually stands at my height, surprisingly, and slip the tunic on. It even has a sash in the center, with a built-in belt to keep it tied around my waist, so I don't have to worry about it unfolding on me!

Sure, some pants underneath would be nice, but I can't just go around making demands, when she went through all the effort just to get me clothed! After all, I doubt if there's any more humans here... at least, I don't think there are.

... Questions for later, I guess.

I turn around, and smile at the two of them. They seem to be staring at me in awe... heh... I guess they like what they see?

Perhaps I should give them a good show, then... perhaps teach them why it's rude to stare! Flexing my arms, I feign a yawn while doing curls, then bring my fists to my hips.

"Yawn... Oh, good morning, ladies! Like what you see?" I ask in English, not really caring that they don't understand what I'm saying... not that it would really matter, by the looks of it.

Their faces turn red at the sight, making me smirk internally. Looks like they're buying it!

"You know..." I then flex my left arm out, and lift my right arm up, curling it over my head, and look up towards the ceiling.

"The ceiling in this room looks especially nice over there! The light shines much brighter on the left..."

The two mares place their hooves over their mouths, impressed by the sight... Lyra, especially.

Finally, I see just how much of a reaction I can get when I slowly look towards them. My eyes locked towards Lyra's, I shift my pose and curl my right arm towards the other wall, in a serpent-like posture. My left arm curls downward, with my hand stopping short of my right elbow.

"... Than the right!"

I then resume the heroic pose, placing my fists onto my waist, unaware that the belt's starting to come undone while my legs stretch slightly outwards.

"Wouldn't you agree?" I ask, raising a thumb up, and winking at them... right as the belt unfastens. The tunic then unfolds, and the center of it, naturally, opens up.

Lyra's nose immediately spouts out a stream of blood, before her eyes roll up at the back of her skull. With a goofy grin, she falls backwards, and lands with a painful-sounding *THUD*, while I just freeze there in place.

Like their faces, mine suddenly starts to turn red.

Bon-Bon slowly deadpans at me, before a thin stream of blood just gently falls from her nostrils.

If there's anything I can guess she said, it would probably be somewhere along the lines of "Not funny"... and sure enough, I quickly agree, as I pull the tunic back up, fold the belt back in place, and clear my throat.

"R-right... uh..." I pause, before facepalming again, and grabbing a nearby sheet of paper. (Still not sure how the hell they have so much paper just waiting to be written on!)

"<Sorry. Didn't expect that. Is Lyra okay?>" I write out to Bon-Bon, who eyes it curiously.

It takes her a moment to get what I've written down, but when she does, she rolls her eyes and nods with a smile, speaking out her response.

I raise a confused eyebrow, which only makes her groan. She then writes out a response for me.

"<Yes. She's always like this. Give her a minute, and she'll be back in full health.>"

I sigh in relief. Glad my antics didn't cause serious problems... until I notice a side-note that she left.

"<But now that you can understand this, mind cleaning up the blood?>"

Fair enough, I suppose. I nod my head, then wait while she finishes adding another message for me to read.

"<Also, it's time I went over the ground rules with you. Get ready for a lot more writing, buddy.>"

...

Well... fu-

Not much more happens during the rest of the week. Eventually Lyra (who, according to Bon-Bon, can easily be woken up just by simply dumping water on her face) started to bring newspapers in for me to read. After a bit of work, they got shutters and curtains installed onto all windows, allowing me a bit more freedom to move around.

While I still can't go outside, it never really bothered me much. After all, I wasn't really doing much back on Earth... just simple, boring inside jobs, and other stuff. After a while, I started to realize that there's more things to this world than meets the eye.

After a while, I've finally gotten the hang of understanding most of what they say... however, they bought me a small chalkboard that I can use to help communicate, due to my accent still being unbearable to them.

... And no, it does not offend me that they'd rather hear chalk scraping on a chalkboard than me speaking... okay, when I put it like that... maybe a little... but hey, I don't really have much to say on the matter... no pun intended.

Anyways, moving on to the news!

I check the paper for the day... turns out there's griffins in this world as well! However, it seems they have a bit of an attitude problem, if this article has anything to say about it.

Apparently, her name was... Gilda... and she was a friend of... Rainbow... Dash?

I raise a confused eyebrow at the strange name. "Huh... Lyra's one thing, but who the hell names their kid Rainbow Dash?!"

With a shrug, I decide to go through more articles...

...

Huh. Looks like there's a Magic Show coming up in a few days... neat!

I decide to browse through the articles a bit more, before coming up with an amazing conclusion...

"Holy shit, am I bored..." I say in English. I hum, before rubbing my chin in thought.

Come to think of it... whenever Bon-Bon curses, some sort of squeaking noise covers her word... I wonder if the same can be said for me? Guess it's time to test that theory...

I clear my throat, and begin the first test.

"Fk." I say in Equish.

I blink, surprised to hear the strange squeak up close. Somehow, I find the sound to be very, very... adorable!

So adorable, in fact, that I look down at my lips, and repeat myself.

"Fk!" I say a little louder.

I grin widely, which somehow makes the squeak return. "Nice!" I say in English, before puffing my chest, sitting up, and taking another deep breath, ready to test just how far this Censorship Magic can go... and I have just the quote to use!

As Bonnie and I return to the front entrance, after another day of shopping at the market, I turn my gaze towards my friend, and smile widely.

"I'm telling you, Bonnie! It's a great idea!" I say.

She rolls her eyes, and groans. "And I'm telling you it's a dumb idea, Lyra! There's no way we can make some sort of potion to turn him into a Minotaur! Besides, if we did give him one, what makes you think he'd be willing to drink it?!"

I hum, before shrugging. "Eh, good point. But then we could just make him a costume!"

As I open the door, she sighs. "Again, Lyra, that wouldn't work! He doesn't even sound like a Minotaur! Why, he's barely grasping Equish as it is!"

"FKING ST, FK ME IN THE FKING ASS... FK YOU, YOU FKING STUPID CK-SKING, MONKEY CT-LICKING FKER! ST! FK THAT!"

Bonnie and I just stare slack-jawed at the Human, whose back is still turned to face us. From the corner of my eye, however, I see Carrot Top staring our way with the same slack-jawed expression, while holding her filly's ears shut and shaking her head in disbelief.

I smile sheepishly at her before Bonnie and I quickly rush inside and close the door. The Human looks our way, and stares blankly at us, while we continue staring at him in shock.

Then he smiles sheepishly at us and waves a hand. "... Sorry?"

While Bonnie is unable to say anything, I lean up to her and whisper, "Well, he certainly curses like a Minotaur... kinda like somepony else in here..."

She looks towards me and gives me another one of those "Creepy Smiles".

"Lyra, if you're trying to pin the blame of his choices of words, I'm gonna slug you in the snout!"

Gulp!

"N-no! Not at all! I'm just... gonna go somewhere that's absolutely not anywhere near you for a minute..."

She tilts her head, keeping the smile present. "Smartest idea you've had today! And you can even put the groceries up, while I talk to the Human about his choice of words!"

I roll my eyes and begin to trot towards the Kitchen, floating the plastic bags out of her saddlebag. "Alright, but go easy on 'em! Don't forget, we haven't gone over the Implications of Censorship Magic with him, yet!"

She rolls her eyes back, dropping the smile. "Exactly! What do you think I'm gonna do?!"

Gee, Idunno... beat him to a pulp, perhaps?!

I open my mouth to respond, but she beats me to it.

"And if you say 'Beat him to a pulp', then you're wrong!"

I sigh in relief at that.

"Besides, I told you I'll buck you in the flank for every Curse Word he says, didn't I?"

I nod my head and smile. "Yes, you..." then I open my eyes as the realization dawns upon me. "... did..."

She smiles once again and waves at me, before turning back around. She then trots inside the living room, calling in a sing-song voice, "~I'll be back for you later, Lyra!~"

...

"Oh, fk me... that's, like, twelve curse words I counted, though!" I say aloud.

Then it's twelve bucks to the flank you get in return! You DID agree to teach him our language, didn't you?! her voice echoes in my head.

W-well, yeah, but THIS ONE WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT, THOUGH! my own voice retorts.

Lyra, Lyra... you've tried telling me that over twelve thousand, eight hundred, and ninety-seven times... has that ever worked?! her voice asks. I can even visualize her giving me that same scary smile!

I... n-no... it hasn't...

Right... so buck up, buckaroo, cuz I'm about to BUCK YOU!

OH, FK ME!

I then picture her wearing some sort of tight-leather saddle, while holding a whip. She grins mischievously at me, before whispering in my imaginary ear, "Heh... that can come after..."

... Wait, why did I think that?!

When I see the two of them enter the Kitchen, I start to look around the Living Room for something entertaining to read. So far, though, the only things I can find are: A Coffee-Stained Coffee Table, a Couch, a Loveseat, a Fireplace, a couple End Tables that match the Coffee Table (minus the stains), an empty bookshelf, and a small chest.

I raise a curious at the chest, but decide against checking its contents. Perhaps they keep something personal inside it?

Finally, I hear hooves coming in, and I turn to find Bon-Bon looking over her shoulder. "~I'll be back for you later, Lyra!~" she says playfully, before turning to face me. Her face then scrunches into a pretty cute, yet obviously threatening, scowl.

"Okay, look. We need to talk about you using that kind of language."

I nod my head before showing her the message I've already written for the occasion.

"<Sorry I used that nasty language. I was testing which ones from my world are good, and which ones are bad, so that I don't accidentally say the wrong thing.>"

She blinks owlishly at the note, before her scowl quickly turns into a somewhat embarrassed grin. "Oh... well, uh... so you already know what makes them good and bad?" she asks.

I nod my head and give her a thumbs-up.

"Huh... well, then! That was... very straight-forward, and a whole lot more easier than I thought it would be." She scratches a leg and looks to the ground, at a loss for words.

"So... no bad words, right?" she asks.

Pretty sure I'm picking up a case of Hypocrisy here, but... eh, screw it.

I nod my head again, before gently pounding my chest in an old-fashioned salute.

She buys it, at least. With a relieved sigh, she giggles. "Great! Glad we got that straightened out!"

With another moment of awkward silence, she clears her throat, and mumbles, "This... is kinda strange. Normally I have to go very in-depth and detailed when dealing with Lyra... and yet, you just barely know our language, and you can pick up the pieces a lot faster than her..."

My stomach starts to growl, causing her to look up. "Oh! Uh... would you like me to cook something for us to eat? I'm thinking Macaroni and Cheese this time!"

I nod my head. "<Yes.>" I sign to her with a Word Card.

Honestly, I didn't even think Mac 'n Cheese would be on the table! For the past three weeks, it was either Oatmeal or Oat Bars... so honestly, I'm looking forward to this!

And with that, she gives me a friendly salute and turns around. She starts to head back into the Kitchen, but pauses and looks over her shoulder towards me.

"By the way, you're an Omnivore, right?" she asks.

I eye her curiously, before nodding my head. Yes... wait, this isn't gonna be some awkward moment where she freaks out, and thinks I eat Ponies, is it?

Thankfully, my thoughts are quickly diminished.

"Good. Guess Lyra had that part right! Well, we've got Tofu in the fridge. I'll make you some imitation steak tomorrow, so you can get a bit more Proteins in your diet." she explains.

I smile once more and bow my head appreciatively. "T̵h̴̡a̸̶n̛k̡s͟͟!̴͢" I tell her in Equish.

She giggles and shakes her head. "You're... gonna have to work on that... but you're welcome, nonetheless!"

And with that, she heads into the Kitchen, while I return to the Newspaper.

...

Hmm... Word-Search? Perhaps I can test my Equish with these things! Grabbing a nearby pencil, I begin searching for the words listed in the menu...

... Quesa... Quesadilluh... Quessannia... Quesadilla? What is this, the Pony-Equivalent of a Taco Store's Advertisement?

...

Shit, this is gonna be more difficult than I thought...

Another day in Paradise, it seems... after a nice, warm meal consisting of Mac 'n Cheese, I found my way back downstairs, and into my bedroom.

Well... the Basement, but same thing. They agreed that, once they can afford it, they'll bring me a bed that I can use. I thanked them, of course, but said that wouldn't be necessary.

If I learned anything that night, it's that no matter what species they are, a man must never tell a woman "No"... I swear, it's almost like they've all just got this universal understanding that they are the ones calling the shots, and the man's only choice is "HOW they can say 'yes'."

I'm overthinking this...

Anyways, I've made a makeshift bed out of pillows, old cushions, and blankets, but never actually gave my room a very thorough inspection, as of yet. In my defense, however, I've been constantly studying their language, and as of last night, their culture, after Lyra lent me a book I can read about, as the title reads, The Cultural Norms of Pony Etiquette and Socializing...

And yes, the book is as boring as it sounds... but hey, Knowledge!

I managed to get through the first three chapters, out of seven, before calling it a night.

And this brings us to today.

I wake up with a yawn and a stretch, then pick myself up out of bed. With a little rub of the eyes, and a smack of the lips, I stand from my bed, and slip on my tunic.

With a quick check-up in the mirror, I begin to make my way up the stairs. As I put a hand on the knob, however, I start to notice something off... for one thing, there's a sizzling sound coming from the other side.

I quickly open the door, and blink surprised at the sight before me. The Kitchen is coated in ash, and the Living Room is a mess, with opened boxes here and there, a few comic books lying around, and a blanket splayed out on the couch.

I look towards the Kitchen, and immediately spot Lyra floating a pan over the stove, humming a merry tune, seemingly oblivious of the state the house is in!

Then, the smell hits me.

Blinking in shock, I approach the Kitchen, and realize that... she's cooking meat!

"Oh! Good morning, sleepyhead!" Lyra says, giving me a wink.

I respond with a nod, but my eyes focus confusedly at the steak on the stove. She, of course, turns towards it and shrugs her shoulders.

"What, this? It's a VERY nutritious Tofu, with a few enhancements and ingredients imported from some of the rarest corners of Equestria! ...Figured you'd need it, before we get started!" she clarifies.

"Oh, got it." I reply, before my brain starts to click the pieces together. "... Wait, started for what?"

She giggles, before turning towards me, and... staring into my eyes with a very very forward-looking gaze.

"For the ride of our lives, of course!"

I take a single step back. "Uh... look, don't get me wrong, but... aren't we kinda-sorta skipping a BUNCH of steps here?! Like, for example, asking if I'm even interested in that kind of thing?!"

Her gaze doesn't shift, however. Instead, she turns the stove off and begins to walk towards me... very slowly.

"Alright, then... would you be interested if I did this, instead?!" Before I even get a chance to react, she turns her back towards me, lifts her tail up (exposing MORE than I'd care to admit), then encases the room in a green light.

When it clears up, I open my nearly blinded eyes, only to gawk at her... new human shape! Her skin, eyes, and hair are still the same color, but her shape is... definitely disturbing me down South. The fact that she is still standing on all-fours, with her rump turned towards me doesn't help, either!

Or the wink she gives me after turning her head, and wiggling her hips.

DON'T DO IT, IT'S A TRAP! my brain shouts.

"Now hold on! I do have to admit, she isn't that bad to look at... and hell, it's not rape if she's OFFERING herself!"

IT'S NOT THAT! SHE'S PROBABLY TESTING TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'D GO! PERHAPS SHE'S TESTING YOUR FAITHFULNESS!

"But... b-but..."

WHAT ABOUT JANET?! WHAT ABOUT YOUR UNBORN CHILD?!

"... Holy shit, what ABOUT them?! Wait a second... I NEVER TOLD THEM WHERE I WENT! HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN HERE, AGAIN?!"

Does my wife, Janet, even know that I'm still ALIVE, now?! Do my parents? My brothers? My sisters?!

I've been too distracted from the oddities of being brought into this world, that I've completely lost track of my own! I had a good job, a loving family, everything I could ever need or even want... so why is it now starting to occur to me that THEY MIGHT NOT EVEN KNOW I'M STILL ALIVE?!

Could the Magic in this world be affecting my thoughts? ... My MEMORIES?! Do these little alien ponies really need me, or am I some sort of experiment that they're studying or using for some sort of secret agency?!

A sudden wave of panic fills my head, and before I know it, the entire scene turns dark. Lyra no longer stands there, the world no longer exists... and at once, I'm filled with a bunch of questions, each of which resulting in the biggest question of all:

"Do they even plan on sending me back?!"

Before I can ask any more questions, I feel a sudden surge of anxiety, fear, and pressure... almost like someone is watching me in my sleep...

"Ẁ̸̨A̧͢͜K̵̕͡E̡̕͠҉̕ ̴́Ù̕͞͡P̕͘!̵̷͞" it would say, in a distorted voice, almost sounding like... Lyra? She almost sounds distressed... but after seeing those images of her... should I even answer her call?! I'm tempted to just remain silent, and see what she does...

"P̧̨͢L̸̨̕͏E͏̧͘͘A̷̛͡S̴̨͟͡͞E̡͘͞,͏̸̡ ̛͠͞W̶̛҉͏A̢̧̧̧͜Ḱ̵̨̡E ̴͢͞Ú̶̧͜͝P̵̕͞!̨͘" she shouts again, this time a bit more louder.

I close my eyes, rubbing my forehead in thought. What is she-

"SERIOUSLY! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP! LIKE, RIGHT NOW!" Lyra's voice shouts into my ear, causing me to jump, while the darkness surrounding me soon shifts into the Waking World!

Suddenly, a sharp pain fills my forehead, and at once, I feel heavily disoriented with a dizzy spell... and a few stars that may or may not be circling my head.

Gripping my forehead in pain, I open my eyes and spot... well... for one thing, A BIG, FREAKIN' MESS IN MY ROOM THAT I KNOW WASN'T THERE BEFORE!

Somehow, my door fell down the stairs, one of its knobs got melted, and there's an unconscious green unicorn laying at the foot of my bed, with a busted lip and a bloody nose...

... oh, shit!

"Lyra! ...You ... okay?!" I try to pronounce to them in Equish... but regardless whether she understood me or not, she's definitely out cold... so I suppose 'NOT' would be the answer to my concerns.

I hear a loud roar coming from upstairs and gasp in horror, before kicking the blanket off of me, and hurrying towards my tunic. When I slip it on, I rush over to Lyra. Scooping her up, I make my way over to my bed, lift the pillows up, and hide underneath them while cradling her protectively.

Whatever my thoughts were in my dream, they've been pushed WAY back! This pony is probably afraid, and now I'm all that stands between her source of fear, and herself! But while I'm no fighter, that doesn't mean I ain't good at Hide 'n Seek! And as a master of said game, I shall teach this pony the Ancient Human Techniques of "Nope" and "Fuck-That-Shit".

Why, one might ask? Well, the answer's quite simple, really...

... BECAUSE FUCK WHATEVER THE HELL THAT SHIT WAS, THAT'S WHY!

I swear, it's like this town's a magnet for all kinds of crazy shit! Like, seriously! What the hell is even HAPPENING out there?!

Oh, of all the arrogant... why did they even let THIS pony be a Magician?!

I'm standing here, in the daylight, watching the town's local heroes be tossed left and right off the stage, as this cheeky mare that calls herself "Trixie" - oh, excuse me, "The GREAT AND POWERFUL Trixie" I meant, keeps on ranting over and over about how "Awesome" she is, and all that garbage...

What's that? Unicorn that can do Magic? Ooh, how exciting! No possibilities that I CAN DO THE SAME DAMN THING, is there?!

I roll my eyes and trot away, while Bonnie follows shortly behind me. "Well, that was a bust." I tell her, sighing.

She gently taps my shoulder and smiles. "Hey, at least you didn't take her up on her challenges!"

I deadpan at her. "Well, yeah! Because for one thing, she scared Twilight Freakin' SPARKLE away!"

Her smile turns into a deadpan. "Pretty sure she was just nervous with the whole 'Unicorn Showing Off' thing, and that she's now gonna be shunned by her friends because of her skills in magic."

This, however, doesn't sit well for me. "Pfft, as if! She's literally the ELEMENT of Magic! I bet she could beat that Trixie Character with an Inhibitor Ring wrapped around her horn, while intoxicated with a ton of Salted Cider! In fact, how about I just go march up to her Tree House, and ask her to deal with this already?!"

Bonnie rolls her eyes and places a hoof over my chest. "Well, for one thing, we've got a friend at our house that might need your help today."

"What about you, though? You haven't spent as much time with 'em as I have!" I point out.

She shifts her gaze around nervously, before leaning closer. "Sorry... I wish I could, but I've got some big plans I have today... need to head out of town pretty soon, actually."

I gasp at her before glaring and throwing my hooves in the air. "Ugh, SERIOUSLY?! Why can't we just hang out for more than just an hour a day, huh?!"

She places a hoof over my snout, and smiles at me... meekly, and...

OH, COME ON! I'M TRYING TO BE MAD AT YOU FOR ONCE, BONNIE, SO STOP ACTING ALL CUTE AND... AND THIS IS GETTING OFF TRACK!

"We can, Lyra... I just need to take care of a few more things. Don't forget, I still have to finalize some of that paperwork to verify that you're living with me now! And besides, I was thinking of getting our secret friend something nice!" she tells me, whispering the last bit involving the Human.

And now, I don't even know why I'm angry anymore. I smile and place a hoof on hers, before nodding my head. "Alright, Bonnie... but when do you think you'll be back, though?"

She replies, "I'll probably be back sometime tomorrow morning, perhaps 2, so you should be asleep once I return."

I sigh, then nod my head. My frown returns, and I feel my ears fold back in disappointment. "Oh... okay."

Her expression shifts to a concerned one. "Is... something wrong?"

I look away from her, and focus my eyes on the ground. "Well... I was kinda hoping I'd be able to greet you when you get back, and maybe get to hang out a little more, but..."

She lets out a sigh, before placing a hoof on my shoulder. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you what! I'll... I'll try to work fast, and if all's well, I'll see if I can make it back home by midnight. If I do, then we can... probably tell stories about how our day went for about an hour. Deal?"

And once more, my smile returns. Giving her hoof a tight squeeze, I nod my head. "Deal."

She squeals in delight, before pulling from my grasp, and looking at her watch. With a gasp, she begins to prance in place. "Oh, crud! I'M GONNA BE LATE!"

And with that, she sprints off towards the Train Station. I scratch the back of my neck confusedly, before shrugging and beginning my way towards the house.

Seriously, what's the deal with that mare? Sometimes, she acts a lot more crazier than me... and THAT SAYS A LOT!

As I make my way into the train, I look around briefly, before the Conductor clears his throat.

"Ticket, please?" he asks.

I deadpan at him before clearing my throat. "My ticket was already given to you. It's the one with a smile on it."

He takes the hint, and nods his head. "Ah, right... Cart 6, Row 3, please."

With an appreciative nod, I step into the third cart, and take a seat at the sixth row... a little inside trick, to keep ordinary observers away. This particular cart has divided rooms inside it that act as rows, so it's fairly easy to distinguish privacy.

I close the door to my room before setting my saddlebag next to me, and grabbing a notebook from within.

Opening the notebook, I'm met with a series of notes I've taken from before. I flip through the pages, until I reach a blank one.

I then draw a pencil from my bag and start to write a note on it.

"<This is Agent Sweetie Drops. We might have a pretty big situation on our hooves.>"

I sigh while going through the Market. Sure, Bonnie said that she'd cook for the Human, but it almost seems like she's all but forgotten that... meaning it would be up to me to cook for 'em!

...

Not that I'm bothered by that, or anything! Sure, I may not be the best cook in Equestria... and might even be so much of a disaster in the kitchen that it's practically a miracle, of sorts... a Miraculous Disaster!

But for my Human Friend, I'd do anything! Anything!

... Even pay the bills that may or may not result, in order to get Bonnie's kitchen replaced...

I look at the Tofu on the market's shelves with determination in my eyes, then gaze upon the slightly pink-colored slab in my hoof. Before tossing it into the Shopping Cart, I take mental notes on which one I'm getting, due to there being Ordinary and Enhanced. The enhanced ones are, of course, coated with a pink herbal substance ground into a dust, and mixed into spring water. According to my research, it's actually a very, very important ingredient in most imitation meats that provide those who consume it with a variable supply of proteins, nutrients, and all that good stuff, while also providing a pretty nice flavor and texture that even ponies can enjoy!

I've heard that pegasi have to eat it as well, in order to build muscle in their wings and stuff... though there's also a bit more to it that I didn't really read that far into... such as how hay isn't really part of the Human's diet... a lesson I learned back at Day 1.

Long story short, if I can feed Mr. Human with enough of these, then he should be good as far as health is concerned! And that's good enough for me!

After checking the last of the groceries out, I pay the cashier and carry it home. It doesn't take long, since thankfully our home's not that far from the Marketplace. When I enter, I find that the Basement Door's closed.

I slowly crack the door open and find that Mr. Human's asleep. Good... maybe I can wake him up with a nice, Protein-Rich Meal? I don't think he had enough for a while, due to how much more he's been sleeping as of late...

Without missing a beat, I get to work in the Kitchen. Before long, I have a nice-looking slab of Imitation Meat on the frying pan, and a few herbs and mixed nuts ground onto the cutting boards that lay spread on the counter.

Now I just have to wait for the burner to get to the right temperature before I put the pan over it. If all goes well, I should be able to have it properly prepped in just a few minutes! That way I can-

My gaze shifts towards the Front Door. Odd... Bonnie should still be out for another six or so hours, at least! And with Mr. Human in the basement, that must mean... visitors!

I decide to leave the stove and check who it is. When I open the door, I mentally facehoof after seeing none other than the two little colts that practically worshiped that "Tricky" bitch.

"Oh... Snips and Snails?" I ask, albeit monotonously.

They smile sheepishly at me in response. "Hey, Misses Heartstrings! We were wondering if you knew where Ursa Cave was?" Snips asks me.

Snails smiles and nods his head in agreement. "Yeah! That way we know where to find the Ursa Majors!"

I deadpan at them and raise an eyebrow. "Uh... do you take me for some kinda idiot? I know better than to risk letting a pair of colts drag an Ursa Major into town!"

Snips, however, elbows Snails in the side and clears his throat. "Yeah, you raise a good point! So... uh... do you know where the Ursa Cave is so we know where not to go, then?"

I shrug my shoulders and smirk. "Well, sure! Don't go North in the Everfree, or you'll end up reaching the caves near Canterlot Mountains! The one with the signs should show you where it is."

They leap with joy before galloping away. "Awesome! Thanks, Miss Heartstrings!"

I wave back at them. "Any time!" And with that, I close the door, and return to the Kitchen.

Then I stare in shock as the burner starts to catch flame! I quickly use my Magic and block out the flame, before the sparks spread around in three different spots.

Three more small fires form, making my ears fall flat.

"Oh, crap!"

I continue to battle the flames with my Magic, and before long, I have myself involved in a pretty scary situation. The fires continue to diminish, but when I think it's finally over, the stupid sparks make another part of the Kitchen light up!

I glare at the flames before charging up my horn. "NOT TODAY, YOU TOASTY LITTLE FIEND!" And with that, I do battle against fire... because fire bad.

With a triumphant smile, I put the last flame out, using a pot of water that I got from the sink. I sigh in relief, before sitting down and rubbing some of the ash from my forehead.

"Whew! That wasn't too bad!" I say to myself, before observing the area around me.

Thankfully the fire never reached the Living Room... somehow. But then, when I look into the Kitchen, burns and ashes cover the entirety of the room!

I gulp nervously, while assessing the damages done. In the end, I've come up with one conclusion.

"St! Bonnie's gonna kill me!"

I quickly double-check to make sure the house isn't going to burn down, before rushing to the front door. Opening it up, I spot one of my "Disguise Friends" dressed as me running away in terror.

I'm about to ask what's wrong, when the ground suddenly tremors. Curious, I take a step out, only to step back in when a massive blue Ursa Minor shows up and starts wreaking havoc on our neighbors' houses!

I stare at it slack-jawed, before slowly closing the door and making a different conclusion.

"Scratch that... HOLY ST! THAT THING'S GONNA KILL ME!" I immediately hurry towards the Basement Door.

I punch it repeatedly with both of my forehooves.

"WAKE UP!" I shout, only to hear the Ursa Minor's roar from outside.

There's no response. I groan before trying to turn the handle... it's locked!

WHY DID BONNIE INSTALL A LOCK ON THE INSIDE AGAIN?! OH, RIGHT! TO KEEP HIM SAFE FROM BEING DISCOVERED! REALLY SMART IDEA, YOU LOVABLE LITTLE DUMMY!

With no other option, I turn around, rear my hind hooves, and buck at the door as hard as I can.

Then I wince in pain as my hind hooves pulsate with a tingling feel.

"GAH! FK!" I curl to the ground, and grip my injured legs with a hurt whine.

"Owwie... how do Earth Ponies make that st look so easy?!" I ask myself, before shakily rising back to my hooves.

Then a new idea springs to mind! Looking at the doorknob, I aim my horn at it and fire a simple Magic Blast towards it.

It melts the handle. I throw a triumphant hoof in the air before attempting to open it again... then realize that all I did was just melt the damn handle.

"Oh, COME ON!" I throw my hooves up in frustration, before bashing my forehead onto the door... my horn then gets stuck in the wood, forcing me to groan. I put my forehooves on the door and try to push myself out of the jam... but as I push the door back, the hinges fly off, and the door falls, with me in tow.

"SHT!!!" I call out as the door slides down the stairs.

When I reach the end of the fall, my horn slips out of the door, and I fly across the room, only to land on the bed with the Human... who, somehow managed to sleep through all of this!

"PLEASE! WAKE UP!" I try yelling back to him. Still nothing!

Could he be dead?! OH, PLEASE DON'T BE DEAD!

I shift and turn until my body's over his torso. Taking a deep breath, I press my hooves on his chest and begin shaking him back and forth.

"SERIOUSLY! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP! LIKE, RIGHT NOW!" I shout in his ears.

Immediately his eyes shoot open and he quickly jerks his head up... directly towards my snout!

OH, FU-

As we sit there silently, I start to get an uneasy feeling. Seconds soon turn to minutes, then minutes to, what I'd guess to be, a half-hour.

Once the strange roaring and quaking ceased, I continued to stay put. If not for the creature, then the odd music that came from out of nowhere.

Whatever this world has in it... I'm starting to see why these two ponies have been hiding me. From perhaps a deadly Dictator, to massive creatures, and so much more... I can't imagine what the hell I would find out there, in this world of sugar-coated death.

My thoughts are soon interrupted once I feel Lyra stir around in her sleep. Her hips start to scoot uncomfortably close to me, until...

Oh, COME ON! OF ALL THE TIMES IN THE WORLD TO BETRAY ME!

I take a deep breath, while trying to imagine as many disturbing things as I can to, hopefully, keep the blood flowing evenly, as opposed to where it's all headed at this moment...

Right, then... History Class! Math! Science! Zombies! Cute and Fluffy Animals! Cute and Fluffy Zombie Animals! Blood and Gore! Ponies! Ponies! Ponies! Ponies! Ponies!

It's starting to work! As the vile "Whyboner" finds its way back to a calmer state, I try to keep the rhythm going.

Ponies! Ponies! Ponies! Bon-Bon! Lyra! Lyra's Butt! ... Wait, what?

As if on cue, Lyra's rump soon makes uncomfortable contact, with the thin cloth of the tunic literally being the ONLY thing in-between us.

SHIT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! WHYBONER INBOUND!

"WELL DOUBLE THE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS! WE NEED TO KEEP THAT BASTARD IN LINE!"

I CAN'T, SIR! LYRA'S BUTT SEEMS TO BE FROZEN ON THE SCREEN AT THE MOMENT!

"WELL WHY THE FK IS THAT EVEN WORKING TO BEGIN WITH?!

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR... YOU MIGHT HAVE A PONY FETISH!

"WHAT?! I DON'T HAVE A PONY FETISH! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!"

WELL FOR ONE THING, YOU-

"AND CAN WE STOP SHOUTING, PLEASE?!"

... For one thing, you DID have a thing for Furries. And while they may not stand on two paws, they DO hold the same amount of intelligence as Humans, if not maybe even more!

"And how are you sure it's a PONY FETISH, and not just simply the fact that I'm PENT UP after being here for who-knows-HOW-long?!"

Your mind, Mr. Brain, Sir.

"What about it?!"

You were staring at her ass the other day, and discretely thought that it looked pretty nice while she was writing on those papers.

"Any OTHER Counter-Arguments you'd like to try convincing me with? Because THAT can also be caused by the Pent-Up Tension!"

You always thought those kinds of things specifically when you learned that you were into Furries. So now, what's there to say AGAINST you simply developing a new fetish?

"... Holy shit, I might be developing a Pony Fetish... I blame this damn Magic shit in the air!"

Well on the bright side, sir, you DID find the aliens attractive in Mass Effect! And it's pretty clear you're not on Earth right now, so... I guess it shouldn't be THAT taboo, if it's normal THERE, right?

"... Well, even if that may be, I'm already a Married Man, with a child! When I've completed my purpose here, I'll just have to explain my situation to them, and everything can go back to normal!"

*Ahem*... 'Why hello, Janet, my Beloved Wife! Sorry I haven't been able to talk to you for about a few months! I was kidnapped and dragged into another world, filled with Colorful Ponies and Big Giant Monsters! Also I might've gotten this REALLY awkward boner when a colorful green unicorn shoved her ass on top of my di-'

"OKAY, I GET THE PICTURE! I'LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO HER!

"... But what point are you trying to make, anyways?"

Simple... you shouldn't feel ashamed that you've started finding these mares easy on the eyes! Maybe when you get back home, you can even start- hold on, I'm getting a call from Penis Department.

"Wait, what the hell are you-"

Shh, hold on...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dudJjUU9Nhs

"... You can't be serious right now! WHY THE HELL ISN'T MY MIND UPDATED WITH WIFI?!"

"... And why's it even making that noise to begin with?!"

Oh, SHIT! MAYDAY, MAYDAY! MOVEMENT DETECTED AROUND THE PENIS DEPARTMENT! BLOOD OVERFLOW IS IMMINENT!

"SHIT! TELL THEM TO STABILIZE THEMSELVES, OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF A MILLION ANGRY BRAINS!"

I CAN'T, SIR! THEY'RE ALREADY SUFFERING FROM BEING TOO PENT-UP AS IT IS!

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

I internally scream when I feel her starting to stir around some more. Her ass, once just sitting there plopped onto the South Pole, now starts to actually grind against it! It doesn't take long for the month of pent-up tension to show its evil, traitorous face... in the form of a very, very awkward boner, guarded only by the tunic.

Then my blood freezes once she moans, and makes her horn glow a feint green color, illuminating the darkness around us... and it doesn't really register to me until she turns around, that... she's woken up, now!

Her golden eyes lock onto mine, before slowly starting to trail down. I quickly clear my throat, however, causing her eyes to look back up to mine.

"Monster... attack." I try to tell her.

She takes a moment to figure what I said, before nodding her head in understanding. "Oh, right! That! Well, shouldn't be much of an issue, now... uh... wanna let me go now, or do you wanna keep cuddling?

"... N-not that I mind, of course!~" she concludes in a disturbingly forward-sounding tone.

I quickly release her from my grasp and lift the cushions up for her.

"Hmm... actually, you should probably keep hiding until I scout the area... just to make sure nopony else is wandering around here, okay? I'll fix your door afterwards!" she suggests.

I give her a thumbs-up and an appreciative smile. It looks like there's gonna be a lot of work in store for us...

Not wasting any more time, I crawl back underneath the cushions and blankets, and wait for Lyra to give me the all-clear.

As I make my way back upstairs, a thought occurs to me... DID I JUST MOLEST OUR HUMAN FRIEND IN MY SLEEP?!

I begin to worry, as Bonnie's statements come into play. Sure, I may have a Human Fetish, but still! They're as intelligent as WE are, and are NOT to be treated so improperly!

It's then quite clear what I must do... I have to apologize to him, and find a way to make it up for him! After all, that's what friends do, right? Heh... perhaps this is just one of those awkward moments we'll tell the kids one of these- STOP THINKING LIKE THAT, LYRA!

R-right! First, we need to block his room! Then we can discuss how to apologize to him properly, Brain!

Thinking for a moment, I decide to grab a spare blanket from across the room, and nail it to the Basement's Doorframe. I then turn back around to assess the damage...

...

Uh-oh...

As it turns out, the tremors of the Ursa Minor did a HUGE number on the Living Room! Wall Hangings now lay broken and/or turned over, onto the ground, the Front Door looks like it's been clawed by something, and is barely hanging on one hinge, and the Kitchen is still a total mess!

I clear my throat, and smile sheepishly. "Okay, then... let's see if we can get this cleaned up before-"

Before I can even finish talking to myself, the door falls down, and an angry-looking Bonnie stands on the other side, focused solely on me.

Before exactly THAT happens!

I notice Snips and Snails running away several paces behind her, which can only mean one thing... they must've lied and told her that I brought the Ursa into town!

"Uh... B-Bonnie?" I begin, only for her to raise a hoof to silence me.

She closes her eyes and sits on her haunches. Clasping her forehooves together, she raises them over her snout, inhales through her nostrils very slowly, then just as slowly, exhales from her mouth. She repeats her Anger Exercise a few more times, before opening her eyes and looking at me... with an unnervingly blank expression.

"... Proceed." she comments, motioning a hoof my way.

I raise a nervous hoof to speak, but pause, as the situation starts to dawn onto me. They must've followed the direction I told them NOT to go! Oh, those clever little foals... when I get my hooves on them, I'll... w-well, I can't really do anything about it legally, but... I'M GONNA TELL ON THEM! I'M GONNA TELL ON THEM SO BADLY!

... If I survive Bonnie's Wrath, that is.

"Now, in MY defense..." I try to find an excuse to at least turn this situation around... and then it dawns upon me that at least one object didn't get destroyed in the Ursa Minor's carnage!

I point at the untouched Coffee Table and exclaim, "At least the Coffee Table's still in one piece!"

As if on cue, the ceiling crashes down over the poor wooden Coffee Table, and a large pile of books fall on top of it, followed by a bed... my bed... and... wait a minute...

NOOOOOOO! MY PORN STASH! RUINED!!! I internally scream to myself. Looking up, I then notice that the roof has, quite literally, been bitten off of our house! Or more specifically, over where mine and Bonnie's rooms are!

"Um... at least you wanted a skylight over your mattress... right?" I sheepishly comment, slowly turning towards my angry friend once again.

Immediately she rushes towards me, hoof in the air. In a blurring speed, I see her hoof headed towards me, and I'm caught way too off-guard to even notice it until it's too late!

OH, SHIT! NOT AGAIN!

Three days have gone by since the monster came and went. I've developed a habit of reading, and Lyra was kind enough to bring me a few more books to help me pass the time... though she still didn't tell me why I'm here.

Then again, I never really asked. I've kinda just assumed I've been brought here for some "Greater Purpose" that they'd let me know when the time's right. However, with how casual they've been about it, I'm starting to grow a bit more weary.

Heck, if I was simply brought here to share cultural information and all that good stuff, then... well, while I'm sure there's a lot of better spokespeople for Humanity in general, I'd be happy to do so!

Perhaps then they'd let me go home... but then again, there were a few situations that could've caused the delays... like me not knowing their language, for one thing. Then there's the monster attack, and now there's the big cleaning up part.

I've pitched in to help as much as I could down here in the Basement. After all the damage that's been done, it's the least I can do.

And so, here I am with a broom in hand, and a dustpan down at the floor. It's been a month, now, but even still I can't say I've had this much time to thoroughly examine the room in greater detail.

Basement, yes, but it feels more like a bedroom at this point... minus the damages, of course. Now it has a bookshelf fitted on a corner, courtesy of Bon-Bon, who told me that it's one of her old ones... thus the purple and pink color of it.

But hey, it's got books on it, as well as scrolls, papers, pencils, and even a few quills and ink pots.

... Another skill I've got to train. I'm shocked they have pencils with erasers, but don't have pens, yet! Then again, I never really paid much attention in the History of the Pen, so I guess it's not too much of a shock... however, if I do end up leaving this house at some point, perhaps I can leave them some notes? Maybe I could help Lyra and Bon-Bon become the "Inventors of the Equestrian Pen".

My thoughts are interrupted when I kick the end-table with my foot while sweeping.

"Gah! Motherffff-" I grip my sore toes, and hiss as the pressure builds over the sore spot.

"Damn it! Might not be broken, but that's likely to leave a bruise..." I think to myself.

My eyes then drift over towards a book that, apparently, fell behind the shelf quite some time ago.

Curious, I pick it up and dust the cover off. Strange as it may seem, the book doesn't appear to have a title... or if it does, it's in a different language altogether!

"Hmm... don't think I've seen this kind of writing before..." I mumble to myself, before limping over to my bed. I can't help but get a strange sensation... a surge of troubled thoughts... like the pages within this book may either come to life... or perhaps, this book might hold some kind of key to this puzzle.

... Could this be the book that Lyra used to summon me?!

I open the pages (making sure the book isn't facing me, lest it be some kind of Wind Tunnel-like book that may or may not trap someone who looks directly into it.)

Once I see that all's clear, I start to look into it. Sure enough, it's got a few markers left in it, meaning someone must've been reading into it before me.

"Hmm... Conjuration... like conjuring up something? Portal, perhaps..." I mumble myself, before skimming through the markers again.

Then a clear sheet falls out of a certain page, with yellow highlights marked on particular points of it... as well as circles, sketches, and diagrams of some sort.

Thankfully I'm quick to catch the page it was in-between, and flip over to where it was. Not wanting to make Lyra lose her spot, I slide the sheet back into the book and align it with the pages.

"Hmm... wait, that doesn't look right..." I mumble, seeing that the circle's cutting through a word, and flip it over to the next page.

"Ah, here we are... Portal to... yadda yadda yadda, every th-" My blood goes cold, and I immediately freeze in place. Eyes glued to the words on the page, my breathing starts to intensify, and my arms start to shake.

If those numbers are correct, then... then...

"I'M STUCK HERE FOR HOW MANY YEARS?!"

Ugh... I feel like passing out. The smoke cloud over town doesn't make it any easier to deal with!

According to Twilight and her friends, they managed to tame the dragon that, supposedly, CAUSED the smoke cloud to form. However, it's gonna take a few days for the smoke to clear up completely!

And so, here I am, in our house, sweeping the Living Room Floor with the broom and dustpan. We were quick to patch the door and roof up, so as to prevent our Human Friend from being discovered. However, we've still got a much, much bigger issue to deal with, at the moment.

I look towards Bonnie, who's inside the kitchen avoiding eye contact with me.

It's been three days, now, since the Ursa Minor went into town. Ever since then, Bonnie refused to talk or even look at me! And any time I try to say something, she just plain ignores me!

It's almost like she doesn't even... want me around...

"You've missed a spot." Bonnie tells me from the kitchen. I turn around, only to find her looking away from me, as usual.

With a sigh, I nod my head and continue sweeping the spot I missed.

This goes on for about thirty more minutes, when finally she steps inside the Living Room.

I open my mouth to say something, when she cuts in. "I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back later."

Before I could even reply, she closes the door behind her, having already left.

My ears fold back, and I resume my chores, now even more depressed! I guess at least she said something, though... yay, progress?

My ears shoot up when I hear a thump coming from downstairs. I immediately drop my task and hurry towards the door (which I had to repair myself... with a few instruction booklets on hoof). Knocking on it gently, I put an ear up towards it.

No response.

I push the door open gently, and notice immediately that, for one thing, the light's turned off. Another thing is, as I get closer, I start to hear... sobbing?

"Hey... are you okay down here?" I ask the Human. Illuminating my horn, the room is soon engulfed in a green light, where I spot him sitting at the head of his bed, with his arms and legs curled up to his chest. His head would be tucked into his arms and knees.

Immediately, I notice that his right toes are starting to look a little darker than the rest of his complexion. I could also see a few scratches on it, which makes me gasp in sudden realization.

"Y-you're hurt!" I yelp, before stepping closer. He holds a hand out to stop me, however.

"No... not... now." he slowly says in his usual accent... but then, something's also off about it... like there's a little growling tone in it.

"B-but your foot!" I argue, only for him to shake his head.

"Not... problem." he replies.

I tilt my head confusedly at him. This... isn't how I expected him to react... unless...

"D-did I do something wrong?" I ask.

He sighs, and returns his face into cover.

It's not a 'no'... which could only mean that he's offhandedly saying 'yes', but...

"W-what did I do wrong, Mr. Human?" I ask him.

"... Sean."

My ear flicks slightly at the odd-sounding word he states.

"... Sorry, what was that?" I ask.

He looks at me, and deadpans. Then places his hand on his chest and repeats, "Sean. My... name... Sean."

It takes a moment for me to figure it out. When I do, however, I gasp.

How come I didn't even ask for his name all this time?!

... Oh, right... because I spent this time helping him learn our language so that we could talk.

But... why is this a bad thing?

"R-right... sorry, Mr. Sean."

"Just... Sean." he corrects.

I gulp, before clearing my throat. "R-right... Just Sean." He groans, clearly not in the mood for fun and games. "S-so... what did I do, Sean?"

"... This." he replies, before motioning around the room. I look around, once more confused.

"I... I'm sorry, Sean. I've been trying to get the other rooms fixed up quickly, b-but... if you want me to help you with yours, I can-"

"THAT... NOT... PROBLEM!" he suddenly shouts, causing me to recoil back in shock. So much, in fact, that I fall to the floor, and on my back. When I straighten myself up to a sitting position, I lean down submissively, while my hoof rests onto my chest, or more specifically, my rising heartbeat.

"P-please don't shout!" I manage to stutter. "... It's... s-scary..."

He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, before standing from his spot on the bed and approaching his desk. The hulking human being, in this mood... w-well... I can't say I feel very safe, right now.

The Prey-Instincts are practically yelling for me to run, or that he might be close to hitting me... and while Bonnie's hit me countless times, she's always held back from actual, eye-blackening hits that could lead to concussions!

And... a certain stallion might've triggered my next move.

My horn starts to flicker, as a protective shield begins to slowly form around me. He, however, isn't fazed by it, and instead grabs a few sheets of paper and a pencil, and returns to his bed.

When he starts to draw, I mostly observe his eyes while he focuses on the paper. They don't look angry, anymore... just sad.

Finally, after about a minute of sketching, he shows me the picture.

It's a simple drawing of a pair of humans - one of which looking plain, and the other having longer hair and a dress.

He taps a finger on the plain human, and then says, "Me."

I look closer at the picture's details... and notice that the two humans are... holding hands?

Finally, the picture's puzzle starts to click into place. My mouth slowly starts to open wide, as my jaw starts to open in shock.

He then writes over the humans' heads the words, "Me" and "Wife" respectively.

"You're married?" I ask him, to which he nods his head.

"That's..." I begin to feel conflicted. Why didn't he mention any... right... language barrier.

"I-I..." I begin, trying to find something to say. My head starts to flood with all kinds of emotions. The way how I fantasized about him, while only occasional, now begin to leave a sour taste in my mouth, as I start to feel like I've taken a poor human mare's husband from her!

Then... perhaps I could quickly send him back for a bit, and-

He points at the ground close to my hooves. When I follow his finger's trail, I spot the odd book that had the portal information in it!

And then, realization hits me right smack in the face.

The stars! He... he can't go back for another thousand years, when the stars align properly again!

... W-which means...

"Wife... coming child... gone. Can not go back... can I?" he asks me, worry clear in his voice.

"Coming Child"? That almost sounds like... like she was...

And now, the feeling in my gut only gets worse.

"Y-you both were... e-expecting a foal?" I ask. "A... baby?"

He nods his head in confirmation. I force my hooves to my mouth in shock.

"Maker Above... w-what have I done?!"

"I..." I begin, only for him to close his eyes and curl back into a ball.

"I-I'm sure I can find a way to fix this! P-perhaps there's a counter-spell somewhere in the book that I can use to-"

"Just... just leave me alone." he states, before turning his back towards me.

Tears begin to coat my vision, before I wipe them with a foreleg and stand back up. "B-but... but I..." And then my ears fold back down to the back of my head. "... I... understand." I conclude, before taking off up the stairs. From the corner of my eyes, I see him just sitting there, staring at the drawing he made.

I slam my forehead against the wall, angry at myself for being so... so... stupid, and selfish!

"YOU TOOK A MARE'S HUSBAND FROM HER LIFE, YOU STUPID MARE! DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU BROKE AN ENTIRE FAMILY APART?! NOW HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE HIS WIFE AND CHILD AGAIN, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FKING FAULT!" I can already hear Bonnie's voice echoing through my subconscious mind.

I scream in frustration, once again, and bash my head to the wall with brute force. A hole is already present, where my horn pierced through it, and a few red marks can be seen on the wall's dent, where the cuts formed on my forehead, coated just behind my mane.

My cheeks have tear stains over them, while the center of my bedroom lays empty. Not only due to the damages done, but also because in my frustrations, I've slung everything into the walls, and then began to hurt myself over and over.

I look into the broken mirror, at the broken mare whose nose and forehead are covered in blood. My right eye is already starting to puff out with the darker ring around it, but at this point, I don't even care.

I then look at my saddlebag, which rests next to my desk, and glare at it, before reaching my hooves down, and sliding it over my barrel. Deciding it would be best not to make them worry, I use my magic to grip a pencil, before writing a small note on a sheet of paper.

"I'm sorry." I read out loud.

Then, I step out of my room, and into the Living Room. Not even bothering to look back, I fold my ears down, and sniffle in pain.

"I-it... it'll be better this way..." I mumble to myself, before opening the door, and stepping out. After closing the door one final time, I make my way over towards the end of Ponyville... or more specifically, where all horrible friends like me deserve to go... the Everfree Forest.

Hours have passed... I can already tell. The rain has started to pour over my coat, and I can already tell that it's not going to end anytime soon... the Dragon Situation from before made sure of that.

How could I have been so stupid to forget that the Pegasi were scheduling a storm to cover the lost time after the smoke covered most of Equestria?! Now I've got to deal with the stray clouds, which the Everfree stole from Ponyville, and in the process, build a hut or find a cave that isn't already occupied by dangerous wildlife!

... I regret thinking that, as a growl begins to echo through the trees.

"H-hello?! Who's there?!" I ask, only for a pair of green eyes to open up from the shadows.

"... Oh, crap!" I immediately spring into action as a Timberwolf quickly leaps from the bushes! Not daring to look back, I run as fast as my legs can take me... but even then, I hear them gaining up on me!

"Please... not here!" I internally plea, as one of their bites nearly takes my tail with it!

And then, I see a shadow looming over me. Before I can even react, one of them rushes beside me and slams its head into my side, sending me crashing into a tree within another clearing.

I writhe in pain as the impact comes, but the adrenaline forces me back onto my hooves in no time. Unfortunately for me, however, I don't have any time to retreat before the five Timberwolves block my path completely!

I try to climb up the tree, but before I could, one of them lunges ahead, and bites into my lower leg. I scream as it yanks me into the air, shakes me around, and tosses me into another tree, head-first.

I fall to the ground, dazed, and in agony, as my vision starts to blur rapidly. I see the Timberwolves starting to approach me slowly, and licking their lips, while the one that bit me snarls with my blood covering its lips.

Looking down at my leg, I see that it's still intact, thankfully, but bleeding heavily... I can't even feel my muscles, anymore, and...

My tears return, as I whimper.

"I-I'm about to die! P-PLEASE, NO! I... I D-DON'T... I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" I think to myself, as my life begins to flash before my eyes.

From high atop the tree that Lyra now lied limply below, a brown-hooded figure sat patiently. As the Timberwolves approached the mint green unicorn, the hooded figure found this as its cue to strike!

With its feminine dark blue eyes glowing from the shadows of her cloak, the figure raised a striped hoof towards the center of the pack of Timberwolves. Attached to her hoof, however, was a gauntlet that held a slingshot attachment.

She slid a yellow, glass-like spherical object into the center of the sling, and fired it towards the center of her targets.

As soon as the sphere landed, however, it burst open, emitting a very high-pitched screech in the surrounding area, forcing the Timberwolves to yelp and back away a few paces, as they looked around cautiously.

She then leaped from the branch of which she stood, and maneuvered her way through the branches below her, until she landed on the dirt path, guarding the unconscious unicorn from the Timberwolves.

As they spotted their next target, the two forces glared at one-another, while the hooded Zebra spat at the ground.

"Begone, creatures of the Night!"

She then raised another sphere their way - this one colored black with an ominously dim green glow coming from its cracks. Her pupils shrank threateningly, as she aimed it towards the Pack Leader's forehead.

"For getting past me will be quite the plight!"

The timberwolves stood there, eyeing the hooded zebra carefully. Then, ever-so-slowly, they started to move forward.

As soon as they took a single step, however, the figure's glare intensified. With precise aim towards the pack leader's forehead, she shot the orb onto it.

Upon impact, the timberwolf yelped loudly as a burning sensation began to coat its entire body. A green flame emerged from where the orb landed, and upon making contact with one of the other timberwolves next to it, the flame spread onto the other, causing the two to run away in pain.

Two of the remaining three saw the pain that their pack-mates were in, and took off running. The last one, however, was a lot more bolder, and decided to charge towards the zebra.

Not wasting time, she reached into her robe and drew a sturdy wooden club with small stones tied to the body. She then charged towards the timberwolf as well, yelling fiercely at the beast.

When it was close enough, it made an attempt to snap at her head, but she was quick enough to duck. While keeping the motion going, however, she gripped the club with her jaw and leaped into the air. The club struck the timberwolf's jaw, forcing the creature's head to recoil back, while she, in turn, landed on her forehooves, with her hind legs reeled back.

Then she bucked the timberwolf's jaw back, forcing its head clean off. The creature's body quickly fell into a pile of twigs immediately after.

She then turned towards the unconscious green unicorn and approached her quickly. She reached into her robe, only to pull out a small vial of green liquid.

Eyeing the deep wound on the unicorn's leg, she carefully dripped the vial's contents onto the wound, and slipped the empty container back into her robe, exchanging it with a thick sheet of cloth.

Wrapping the cloth around the covered wound, she then leaned down and picked the unicorn back up, before turning towards a particular part of the forest.

Thinking for a brief moment, she drew another object from her robe - a spearhead with the remains of a small wooden handle; now a makeshift dagger of sorts.

She gripped the handle with her teeth an made a gash on the tree, while leaving a few more similar gashes on the trees that she used to make a path.

Eventually, she would reach her hut, with several runes and runic symbols decorating the area around her home.

Little did she know, however, that a pair of orange eyes were observing her from a distance...

I've lost count how long it's been. Not gonna lie... I may be a man, and all, but damn it, there's gotta be a limit!

My family... my friends... they think I'm dead! And what's worse, is that after giving the book a few more thorough scans, it seems humanity actually used to be in this world!

"For all I know, this could mean I'm not even an alien... perhaps she pulled me from the past! It would explain a few of the human-like things I've read about... but..."

I sigh, as I sit back up from my pillow. Then I close my eyes and place my hands onto my forehead, as I have yet another inner conversation with my own thoughts.

"... Why do I feel bad for yelling at Lyra like that?"

Did she know?

"... No. She didn't. Hell, if anything, she was just as surprised as I was when I opened my eyes that day!"

Right! So can you blame her, then?

"Honestly... the only thing I can blame her for is being as much of a victim of circumstances as I am!"

So... you're not angry with HER, but rather, you're angry with the CIRCUMSTANCES!

"Yeah... I guess I am... and I snapped at her, didn't I?"

Yes... you scared the hell out of her, in fact!

"But-"

You scared the pony that was only trying to help you! She was trying to fix her mistake! Hell, when she figured out that you've got a family at home, she even started saying that she'll try to find a way to reverse the spell! And then...

"... And then I told her to leave me alone..."

That, you did! And judging by how emotional she can get, that kind of shut-out attitude could be the equivalent to 'I am no longer your friend!' in her eyes!

"... Shit, I gotta apologize to her! Quickly!"

I'm damn right I've gotta apologize to her! Janet would've probably done the same thing if the situation were reversed... minus the whole 'freaking out' part, of course! Hell, she believed in this kind of shit more than I ever did, so- why are you still sitting there?! HURRY UP!

I open my eyes back up and stand from my bed. My tunic is still on, so I decide to just tighten its belt and walk up the stairs.

When I reach the Living Room, the first thing that I notice is that it's been thoroughly improved since last night... now that it's been swept up, and the couch and loveseat have been dusted off. Sure, there's still a lot of work to do, but compared to last time I saw it, it's likely to be done within a couple hours or so.

But oddly enough, I can't seem to find Lyra anywhere.

The door slowly creaks open, forcing me to instinctively duck and cover behind the couch, should they be receiving visitors.

Then I hear Bon-Bon's voice, as she huffs and puffs, seemingly strained. Curious, I stand up and notice that she's carrying a huge load of groceries on her back, with sweat pouring from her forehead. Said groceries would appear to be a bunch of cleaning supplies, tools, and various other knickknacks meant for fixing things, though she also would appear to have a paper bag grasped in-between her teeth.

She looks up at me and tilts her head confusedly.

"Hrrv roo sheen Lrra inny wrr?" she mumbles with her mouth full.

Though it takes about a minute for me to decipher her words, I shrug my shoulders and shake my head left and right.

"Sorry." I reply to her, both in doubt that I know what she really said, and in response to what I think she said, which was something about me seeing Lyra.

She sighs before trotting into the kitchen. I hear the fridge open up, while the sound of her rummaging through it fills the room. Sounds like there's been a lot of stuff that needed to be disposed of.

"Ugh... Lyra could've at least cleaned out the fridge like I asked!" she complains.

I raise an eyebrow before deciding to approach her. When I enter the kitchen, however, I'm surprised to see that most of the burns and stuff have already been cleaned up! It also makes me wonder how an Earth Pony was able to do all of this on her own, while the Unicorn (you know, the one that can levitate things around at mere thought) was stationed into the Living Room... but I digress.

I decide to try my luck at finding her, while Bon-Bon's distracted. Going up the stairs, I gently knock on Lyra's bedroom door, and wait for an answer. When no response can be heard, however, I decide to crack the door open. I was already warned by Bon-Bon not to enter either of their rooms, but that doesn't mean that I can't at least look inside, right?

However, I'm unable to open the door... something seems to be blocking the way! I groan, before clearing my throat.

"Lyra... please... come." I say... but again, no answer.

Then my mind begins to wander into darker corners. She was depressed... does that mean she's...

"Oh, HELL NO!" my thoughts shout for me, as I lean back and ram my side into the door.

It budges open a little more, requiring me to shove it again.

"Hey! What's going on up there?!" Bon-Bon calls from down below.

"Lyra... in... trouble!" I reply.

She doesn't skip a beat, and rushes upstairs as well. By the time she reaches the entrance room, I've finally managed to shove the door open, and in the process, scoot the fallen clock out of the way.

When we both see the inside of the room, however, our jaws fall open. The whole place is an utter mess!

And yet, I know for a fact that they've cleaned their rooms already... it was their first task, which took them an entire day... and Bon-Bon was, if I remember correctly, always onto her about it, until she approved of the room's condition.

No, this looks more like the kind of damage caused when one were to completely lose it. A few holes in the wall, where her hoof must've swung, the occasional thrown object now scattered across the floor, including a few books with their pages open... pages that I'm quick to avoid looking at.

"Didn't even think she was into that sort of thing... but hey, we all have our moments, I guess..." I think to myself.

Then I spot another book, with pages torn from within. The pictures seem to be hand-drawn... erm... hoof-drawn. And they look, surprisingly, well made, too! Definitely better than I can do, at least.

The pictures seem to just be drawings of ponies with swords and spears, guards, all kinds of things... even a few anime-like designs, too!

When I flip through the pages, however, one catches me by surprise... a drawing of Lyra, herself. She's smiling in the picture, with what appears to be a human smiling back at her.

I can't help but smile at the scene. It's quite cute, really, seeing her all happy like that. Sure, I'd never really get romantic with her, but this picture seems like it's more of a friendly sort of thing.

I turn the page, and then find her and the human kissing, which makes my smile lower.

"Ah, crap... I think I see where this is going. She must've developed some sort of secret crush on me... damn, that sucks... I wish she'd have gotten a single guy instead of me. THEN maybe she would've been a lot happier..."

When I flip it to the next page, however, I catch the two in a compromising position, with her on top of him, and her exposed rear hovering shortly over his-

I'm immediately inclined to slam the notebook shut, and turn my head away from the notebook, barring the fact that my face is now starting to get a lot warmer.

"NOPE, NOPE, AND NOPE, WITH A SIDE-ORDER OF FUCK-THAT-SHIT!"

Then I groan internally, as I feel myself starting to react naturally. I look down and glare at the traitor.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING, YOU KNOW!"

I then decide to search for clues on Lyra's whereabouts, hoping to find something to take my mind off of the questionable picture.

Then my eyes wander up to the wall, where several more larger holes were punched in... although, this time, I see a few strands of blood at the top... and the size of the holes are far different than the others. Almost like she hit her head on this corner, instead...

"Damn... she must've knocked herself into a concussion here... we need to find her quickly!"

"Oh, no..." I hear Bon-Bon say from behind me. I turn around and notice her looking at a sheet of paper placed on the desk.

I hurry towards her, and read the note out loud. "I'm... sorry?"

Bon-Bon looks up at me, now with a worried look. "I'm sorry... but I have to go find her. Will you be okay here by yourself?" she asks.

I nod my head, and follow her out of Lyra's room. When we reach the Living Room, I make my way towards the Basement Door. After opening it, I turn to face Bon-Bon again, and notice that she's already wearing a saddlebag with what appears to be several survival-based equipment. She also slips on a forest camouflaged helmet and jacket, then turns towards me. "I'll knock four times, spacing each knock with one whole second in-between. Don't answer the door for anyone that knocks otherwise, got it?"

I nod and give her a thumbs-up. "Good... luck." I add.

She smiles and nods once, before turning back around and opening the door.

Before she could even step outside, however, our blood goes cold as a blue Alicorn (as they clarified for me after Princess Celestia's appearance) stands there on the other side, looking at me with an uncertain look.

"OH, HOLY FUCK, NO!"

"So... thou must be the Human We've been observing, then?" she asks in a fairly loud voice.

Now, I may have to be honest here. I've not been one to scare that easily. In fact, in the face of danger, I've been known to laugh at the face of it, and maybe even do a couple daring stunts here-and-there. Nothing too over-the-top, mind you, but climbing trees was always a breeze.

In other words, I've not been scared shitless very often.

So needless to say, it's quite surprising that, after seeing this mare, and hearing her loud voice, making me think "WE'VE FOUND YOU!" in a nightmarish tone, I actually ended up, for the first time in my life, fainting.

Bon-Bon stares slack-jawed at Princess Luna. "P-Princess... Luna?!" she stammers, ignoring the fact that Sean fell unconscious just a few seconds ago.

The Princess, nods her head, and looks over towards the little pony. "Find thy friend, Bon-Bon... for she needs thee more than he, right now." she replies, motioning towards the human.

"B-but-" Bon-Bon begins, only for Princess Luna to place a hoof on his shoulder.

"Fret not, for only We know of him... Our sister has been too preoccupied to take notice. And what's more, We only know of him through Our visits into the Dream Realm. In short... We wanted to make sure he isn't a threat." She then smiles and adds, "We are happy to see that he isn't, though..." her demeanor then turns more serious.

"But enough chatter. We can only stay and observe him for so long, so thou must hurry! Find thy friend, before it is too late!"

Bon-Bon gulps and nods her head once. "Y-yes, ma'am, Your Highness..."

And with that, she rushes out of the house, leaving the human under the care of the Princess of the Night.

It's been frustrating for Bon-Bon. She's already been through all of Ponyville, and not a single sighting of Lyra to be found! She's tried speaking with Lyra's hired Doppelgangers, but even they couldn't find the real one.

So now, here she is trotting up to the furthest house from civilization... Fluttershy's Cottage.

"Ugh... that mare needs to get out more, I swear..." Bon-Bon mumbles, before gently knocking on the door. "Fluttershy, are you in there? There's an emergency!"

The door slowly cracks open a few inches, and a nervous eye glimmers from within the shadows. "Oh! B-Bon-Bon... is... is Lyra back, yet?"

Bon-Bon raises an eyebrow at the mare's choice of words. "Yet? Fluttershy, I don't even know where Lyra went!"

Fluttershy gasps, before opening the door up even wider. "Oh, my! Y-you mean she ran into the Everfree Forest by herself?!"

"Wait... did you just say she ran into..." Bon-Bon's lips furl into an angry frown.

Fluttershy immediately let out a high-pitched "Eep!" before closing the door quickly.

"Ffffffffffffff-"

Princess Celestia sits at a large table, across from a dark blue stallion with a silver mane and tail neatly combed to the side.

"So, as you can see, Your Highness, the ballot has determined that more votes are in favor of the Censorship Laws being removed from the Language Barrier. After all, if we are to allow more creative freedom for the kingdom, then what better way to say 'We have you in mind', than to give them the Freedom of Speech?" the stallion asks.

Celestia hums, rubbing her snout in thought. A smile then forms on her mouth. "I see... you've raised a very good point, Mr. Proxy. I suppose now would be the time to allow my... excuse me, our subjects, to speak their minds freely."

She then giggles lightly, as she straightens her posture up. "It feels so wonderful to say 'our' again... after so long, my sister is back once more... she should almost be done with the rehabilitation sessions to help her readjust to the modern ways."

Her horn glows a bright yellow, before a translucent golden pulse ripples from the tip, like a signal of sorts.

"And there we go, Mr. Proxy... now, the Censorship Magic has been lifted." she says with a smile.

Proxy bows his head gratefully. "Thank you, Your Highness... I promise, you shall not regret this decision."

"FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Bon-Bon's voice booms from all the way at the outskirts of Ponyville, causing the walls to shake and tremor slightly.

All the ponies within stare blankly towards the small town, eyes shrunken and jaws wide open.

Proxy then sighs, before straightening out the cards on the table. "I'll... go cast another ballot after this."

Princess Celestia says nothing, but nods nonetheless.

I hurry into the Everfree Forest as fast as my hooves can take me. While it caught me off guard, if only a little, that my swear wasn't censored, I've shaken the thought out of my mind, focusing instead on what really matters right now... knocking some sense into my idiot friend's skull!

"Stupid, stupid Lyra! What in the Gates of Tartarus am I going to do with you?! Running away like this... if you told me you were feeling this way, then maybe I would've given you a PROPER scolding, and... and..."

I blink, as my pace slows down. The darkness of the woods begin to cover my vision, forcing me to play it by instinct, at this point. With a slower pace, I begin to sneak through the woods, while another thought occurs to me.

"... I guess I COULD'VE been a little less of a bitch about it, though. Sure, she might've made this last month a living tartarus, but... well, actually my whole life, and... still, though, she's always been my best friend! A lazy, dim-witted friend, sure, but a friend! And... well, I'd be lying if she didn't help keep me strong in both, body and soul. Her laziness meaning I had to do a lot more than usual to handle my work, but it didn't really bother me. Especially since she still uses her magic to help out with the hard-to-reach places.

"Plus it's not like she doesn't do ANY work around the house. She tries her best to clean up her messes, at least... even though it usually results in her screwing something up, and making an even BIGGER mess...

"... Come to think of it, how exactly ARE we friends, with such contrasting personalities, anyways?!"

Suddenly a mental image of Lyra lying on a bed shaped like a heart pops up in my head. Her golden eyes would wink at me, and she'd be wearing a black-laced saddle, while offering me a whip using her magic.

...

"And now, I'm going to have to buy Brain Bleach when we get back."

I look around the surrounding area, and rub my chin in thought.

"Anyways, back on subject... it appears that she remained somewhat close to the road, until she reached this point... which then, she ran off track. Pursuers? Most likely. Attackers in question..."

My blood goes cold the moment I recognize the tracks that don't match hoof-prints...

"... Oh, no... Timberwolves!" I whisper, before following the tracks.

"SHIT! Lyra, you BETTER not be dead!"

My ears fold back, and panic now starts to fill my mind.

"... PLEASE be alright!"

After following the tracks for what feels like an hour, my ears twitch at the sound of something snapping. I quickly sneak into a nearby bush and pull a small spray bottle from my bag, and mask my scent with the contents within. Then I close my eyes and steady my breathing, as I listen deeply into the darkness... letting my years' worth of training come into play.

Echolocation... I pick up a tall figure lurking nearby. Branches for legs, yet too tall to be considered an ordinary Timberwolf... no, this is an Alpha.

And when there's an Alpha, there's either a pack of regular Timberwolves nearby, or an even stronger opponent defeated said pack to turn them into the Alpha.

Considering the scenery resembles a battlefield, I'd say it's the latter.

And yet, there's no signs of said opponent nearby. This means that, whoever this mysterious hunter was, they likely have Lyra right now!

It's then decided what my next plan of action will have to be. I'll need to look for tracks for this mysterious figure, if I hope to ever see Lyra again...

...

But first, I'll have to deal with this Alpha Timberwolf.

I stood nervously still, as the massive wooden creatures swarmed me. I was only a filly, and couldn't stand up against these kinds of creatures!

They growled as they approached me, ready to pounce. With my hooves trembling, and the mud and scratches from the forest coating my whole body, I could only curl in fright, as my fate almost seemed sealed right there...

... until...

As the memories flash before my eyes, I recall the things my father taught me that fateful night. Drawing a pebble from the ground, I lean over and toss it across the field.

Once it lands in the leaves, the Alpha turns and growls towards the source of the noise, before crouching into a pouncing posture and tiptoeing towards its supposed "prey". Its eyes fixated on the bush where the pebble landed; it's far too focused on the empty space ahead to notice me shifting my posture. Carefully coordinating my next shot, I toss another pebble behind another bush angled to the side of the current one it's focused on, emitting another sound behind the particular spot.

My ears twitch, as I echo-locate its location from the sounds its paws make.

Finally, it leaps!

I make my move quickly. Pulling a grappling hook from my saddlebag, I launch it into the air and latch it around a nearby branch.

The timberwolf turns and growls at me, before lunging towards my direction. I'm already mid-sprint, and circle around the tree, stretching the limb outward. I then wait for my chance, and...

BAM!

I let go of the branch once it's close enough. The branch knocks the timberwolf into pieces on impact.

I sigh in relief, for multiple reasons. One, I defeated the creature, and two, there isn't any signs of a dead body within it, meaning Lyra's still alive somewhere.

Pocketing the hook back into my pack, I make my way even further, following the trail of, what I assume to be, Lyra's doing.

It doesn't take long before I start to recognize a few runic symbols splayed across the ground and the trees. Wards meant to repel creatures of varying species.

I take a sniff of one of them and scrunch my nose.

"Still a fresh mark... someone is here."

I then look over, and notice something off about the clearing... like a trail where hooves constantly trotted about.

"Ah, another mare I see. What, exactly, brings you into the Everfree?" I hear an accented voice echo from above.

I look up and notice a robed zebra observing me from within the shadows. From the looks of it, her eyes are glowing a bright yellow color... but something tells me that's just from my perspective.

"I'm looking for my friend. Likely that other mare, who came into these woods. Mint-colored unicorn, with a lyre for a Cutie Mark?" I reply casually, hoping to hide my unease around this stranger.

To my relief, she nods her head. However, the look on her lips tells me there are no good news ahead.

"Indeed, your friend is at my home, but in her condition, she can not roam. Her injuries are too much to ignore, so please return home, I implore! Under my watchful eye, I assure you she will be fine. The medicine will do the trick, her recovery shall be quick." she speaks without missing a beat.

But it doesn't sit well that Lyra's injured. "Can I at least see her?" I ask.

The zebra's frown only deepens. "I'm sorry, friend of my guest, but a careful distance would be best. She warned me of your recent spat, and time can be the only cure for that."

I glare at her and take a single step forward. "You might wanna rethink that, lady. Until I see that my friend is at least alive, I'm not gonna give up my mission to save her!"

Suddenly, green smoke begins to surround me. Her golden glowing eyes, however, still appear to be visible.

She leaps down the tree, landing a few meters away from me.

"You dare to threaten the Everfree Witch? I-"

I interrupt her, however, and spit on the ground between us.

"DON'T CARE! I'LL SAVE MY FRIEND FROM YOU, BITCH!"

I immediately swing my hoof in her direction... but in the blink of an eye, the mist fades, and I find myself standing right back at the entrance to Ponyville.

Blinking once, then twice, I look around, and back towards the Everfree Forest.

How the... but... why... what...

"... What the fuck?!" I finally stammer.

My eyes slowly begin to drift open. I groan, as a splitting headache begins to form, making my pain only intensify.

"Ow... my head..." I grumble, only to hear the doorway to the strange hut open and close. Turning to face the visitor, I weakly smile, and wave a hoof at the source. "Oh... h-hey Zecora! Welcome home!"

She merely nods her head, and approaches me with a bag in her hoof.

"Lay down, Lyra, for you need your rest. Talking tomorrow would be for the best." she replies in her freakin' awesome rhyming thing.

"Seriously, how the hell does she come up with this stuff?! It's like she's a natural at rhyming!" I think to myself, but nod nonetheless, and lay back down on the bed splayed out for me.

She then approaches, and places a gentle hoof on my forehead.

"Hmm... a fever you still have, I think. I'll bring you more medicine to drink." she comments. I nod my head and wait, as she makes her way back over to the kitchen area.

A few minutes pass, but she returns to me, and offers a small bowl of... some sort of green liquid.

I take a sip, but have to force it down my throat.

"Ugh... it tastes like expired oat nuts dipped in skunk poop!" I groan.

Zecora lightly chuckles, and nods her head. "Though it may taste most vile, it will ease your fever in a very short while."

"Heh... thanks, Zecora." I then say, nodding my head in appreciation. "Umm... by the way... what took you so long while you were out getting the ingredients?"

And soon, Zecora begins filling me in on what happened. From an encounter with Timberwolves, to an encounter that, in MY opinion, might be a tad bit more scarier... Bonnie.

As she relays the last bit of information, I only hope and pray that she isn't too upset.

"I'm gonna fucking KILL that bitch!" I shout at the top of my lungs, while Sean simply sits there next to me, having come to about an hour ago.

He hasn't said anything to me about his encounter with Princess Luna, but he promised he'd explain it once we've gotten Lyra back.

He raises a finger up, but at the present I'm too upset to even notice, before adding another comment in.

"THEN I'm gonna fucking kill that ZEBRA BITCH FOR GETTING IN THE WAY!" I slam my hoof down on the couch.

Sean lowers his finger and winces as he hears the sound of the wood inside the couch crack.

"She... might need... uh... help?" he says slowly.

I jerk my head towards him and glare.

"Oh, she needs help, alright! SHE NEEDS ALL KINDS OF FUCKING HELP! AND I'VE ABOUT HAD IT BEING HER FUCKING BABYSITTER, AND ALWAYS GETTING THE SHITTY END OF THE STICK! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH HORSESHIT I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH BECAUSE OF HER?!" At this point I'm almost inches away from his face, which is contorting into a nervous smile.

"Yet... you're friends?" he asks.

This makes me actually think for a moment. Sure, I've had a ton of problems because of Lyra... heck, a ton is putting it LIGHTLY!

And yet... despite this, my better judgement starts to rear its head in. Memories begin to flow through my head. Memories of when Lyra and I were mere fillies.

I was just a little filly in Science Class. I was studying my book, when I heard somepony beside me.

"Psst!"

I rolled my eyes and ignored her the first time.

"Psst!"

I groaned and lifted my book even higher, hoping whoever this pest was could just take a hint, already!

"Pssssssssssssssssssssst!"

I guessed not, and groaned, turning to face the pony in question.

"What?!" I growled quietly so that the teacher didn't hear me... but I blinked in surprise when I found the mint green unicorn just staring back at me with a goofy, braced smile on her face, and two pencils sticking out of her nostrils.

"I'm a wawruth! Arf! Arf!" she said, making what I'd assumed were, walrus sounds.

I responded with a blank stare at first, but just the odd nature of this strange mare made a small smile begin to creep up on my lips.

I then rolled my eyes and looked back at my book. Minutes soon passed, until...

"Psst!"

I sighed and turned to face her, only to find the same pair of pencils had been removed from her nostrils... and placed on her horn, while being held together by a weak levitation spell.

"Now I'm a woonicorn! Neeeigh!" she whispered.

I smirked at her, before pointing at her horn. "Aren't you already a unicorn, though?"

She looked up at her forehead and giggled. "Oh, wight! I gueth I am!"

And yet, for some odd reason, that made my smile grow even more.

I then looked at my book once more, but my eyes trailed over to her... wondering what she was going to do this time.

Then she placed her pencils in her ears. I blinked owlishly at her, but looked towards my book once more, knowing what was going to come next.

"Psst!"

I immediately looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Now I'm a weindeeuh!" she said, while I internally translated it to "reindeer". She opened her mouth once more, before opening her eyes widely, and looking confused at me.

"Umm... what thound doeth a weindeeuh make?" she asked, to which I opened my mouth to respond.

...

But no words came out. I looked confusedly at her and replied, "You know... that's a pretty good question! I haven't the slightest idea!"

She gasped and, for the briefest moment, I saw stars form in her eyes. "Hey! Wanna go to the wibwary togethuh and wook it up?!" she asked.

I was about to decline... but then, something seemed different about this unicorn... and not just the pencils sticking out of her ears.

She seemed... desperate for attention. Like she was the kind of pony that nopony else wanted to play with during Recess... and considering her personality, at least at first glance, I could see why. She was socially awkward, and likely a special child.

Some part of me just wanted to protect her from the bullies in this school... I noticed a small bandage on her back-left knee, with little bits of dust gathered around it. A sure sign she was a target beforehoof.

And so, I smiled at her. "Umm... sure! Just, uh... let me finish studying, okay?"

She looked confusedly at me. "Studying? But we'uh doowing a tetht, dow! Unleth... you alweady did it?!"

I nodded my head, smiling triumphantly at the achievement of having completed a test before a unicorn. "That's correct!"

She gawked at me, clearly amazed. "Wow! You mutht be willy smawt! I couwd not evin find the ansooh yet!"

I stole a peek at her test and my ears drooped lowly. Rather than write down official answers, I noticed that she, instead, was doing a connect-the-dots puzzle she made herself... and the sketch was just as terrible as one might expect!

This would probably land her in the Special Needs class for sure!

"Umm... here, how about I help you right quick? You know... so that we can go to the library sooner!"

She smiled at that notion and nodded her head quickly and eagerly.

I then took to erasing the stupid puzzle and checking the answers, keeping an eye open for the teacher every step of the way.

Thankfully it went without a hitch. Before long, the school bell rang, and I was at least able to get her test sorted out in time... but I couldn't get my studies done in time, which would cost me during the following class.

But it didn't matter to me, at least. I had made a new friend... granted, my only friend, but hey, it counted!

When break time came, we gathered at the hallway, the weird green unicorn and I, and we began our trek down to the library.

"I'm gwad you came wiff me! To be honetht, I don't have inny fwendth, yet." she said, looking a bit downtrodden.

I gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, winning me a glance from her.

"Well hey! You've got one friend, now!" I told her.

She smiled even brighter than earlier, and squee'd. "Oh, my! Thankth, new fwiend! Uh... what'th yoouh name?"

I placed a hoof on my chest and replied, "My name is Swee... uh... Bon-Bon! Heh... yeah, my name's Bon-Bon! And what's your name, new friend?"

She imitated my gesture, nearly tripping on her own face, had I not caught her in time. She then went back to walking regularly. "My name'th Lywa! Lywa Heawt'thchwingth!" she practically butchered that last part. I couldn't blame her, though, because of the retainer. And so, I giggled and nodded my head, pretending to understand it.

"Got it. Well, then, it's nice to meet you, Lyra!"

She nodded her head. "And it'th nithe to meet you too, Bonnie!"

"Erm... Bon-Bon." I corrected.

She waved a dismissive hoof at me. "Pfft! Evewypony knowth that betht fwendth give nicknameth to each othuh!"

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Well, I'll just stick with Lyra, simply because Lyly sounds like you like to tell lies. Deal?"

She nodded her head and giggled. "Deal!"

And as we took our first step into the library together, it was the first step towards a friendship the likes of which none could break.

As the memories of our fillyhood flashed before my eyes, I couldn't hold back the single tear that sneaked its way onto my cheek... followed by another.

I close my eyes and sigh, taking deep breaths, before turning to face Sean. Remembering that he asked a question, I give him an answer.

"Yeah... yeah, we're still friends. And we always will be."

He nods his head, smiling. Then he gently scratches behind my ears, winning a weak smile from me.

"Then... why be mad? We should go find her."

I sigh, shaking my head.

"There's no way we'd be able to... she's currently being guarded by a zebra that has some kind of voodoo magic on her side. If we got too close, she'd just send us back again... and there's no telling what she'd do if she saw you of all people!"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Well... friends don't quit."

"There's dangerous creatures in that forest, though! I can handle them, but what about you?"

"You can handle them. So, I not afraid."

"But..." I begin, but he seems determined.

I then sigh, shaking my head. "Listen... I'll go find her. You stay here, and-"

"No. I go with." he interrupts.

"But... what if somepony sees you?!"

With another shrug of the shoulders, he replies, "Late at night. Ponies mostly asleep now."

He does raise a fair point, to be honest. Four eyes would be better than two... but even still, I can't help but wonder, and I ask him in person, "Why do you want to search for her?"

Then his next words catch me off guard. "You both are my friends."

I blink owlishly at him. "We're... your friends?"

He nods his head.

"But... all we did was hide you from the public eye! Heck, we whisked you away from your world! From your family!"

Closing his eyes, he sighs. "Well... not quite."

"What do you mean, 'not quite'?" I ask, now confused.

"Long story. I tell when both of you back together." he replies.

"Fair enough... then tell you what. How about we come up with a plan first, should a pony spot you?"

He rubs his chin in thought. "Are ponies all that there are?"

I shake my head. "Not exactly... to be honest, you kinda resemble a Minotaur... but missing your horns and your fur."

He then smiles. "Then I a minotaur to them."

I deadpan at him. "I said kinda. You lack the fur!"

"Shaving accident."

"And the horns?"

"... BAD shaving accident."

"Your face is also a lot flatter than theirs."

"... REALLY bad shaving accident."

"You... know what? Fine, then! Besides, most ponies around here probably don't know what Minotaurs even look like!" I concede. To be fair, though, I highly doubt most ponies in Equestria know what a Minotaur looks like, save for the princesses!

"So now we go?" he asks.

I nod my head. "Yeah... I guess we go, now."

And with that, I put a hoof on the door and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. Then, after saying a silent prayer to the Makers that nothing bad happens when I open up the door, I... well... open up the door.

Princess Celestia would be standing at the other side... FUCK!

"Hmm... I see. So this is the anomaly my sister mentioned." Princess Celestia says, as she eyes Sean up and down.

I sigh in mental frustration, nodding my head. "Yes, Your Highness... a-and I'll explain everything once we've managed to rescue Lyra from the Everfree Forest."

Princess Celestia raises an eyebrow. "Oh? You mean you haven't rescued her yet? I thought my sister said that you already went to save her..."

I place my hoof in my face and groan. "I tried to, but then a strange Zebra got in the way!"

"A... Zebra? Within the Everfree Forest?!" she asks, showing signs of surprise.

I nod. "Yes, Your Highness. She seemed to have extensive knowledge of that place. Far more than anypony I know, in fact. It's almost like she was born and raised within it!"

She rubs her chin in thought, before mumbling, "... So she is still around... color me impressed..." She then looks my way and frowns. "But I digress. If you need to return to the Everfree Forest, I can send in a small squad of soldiers to assist you."

I raise a hoof up. "As much as I appreciate the suggestion, Your Highness, I already have enough assistance." I then gesture towards Sean, who's only staring worriedly at Princess Celestia.

"Very well, then... in that case, I shall return to Canterlot for the time-being. However!" She looks sternly between us. "Once I return next time, I would like to have answers as to why you've hidden something this big behind mine and my sister's ears."

Her stern gaze is enough to break my defenses. Instinctively, I bow my head to the ground and shiver in fear. "Y-yes, Your Highness!"

She then nods her head and looks up at Sean, who appears to be doing a bow of his own, though only half as low as me.

"Hmm... you do not bow completely... why is that, if you don't mind me asking?" she asks him.

He leans back up and smiles nervously at her, scratching the back of his head. "P-permission to give the blunt, honest truth?" he asks her.

She tilts her head confusedly at him, before nodding her head. "Of course. 'Tis not an issue to me, personally, though most in Canterlot would've found it to be considered an insult."

"T-true, but... w-well..." he begins, before his legs begin to shiver.

He then clears his throat, while I listen in on his next phrase.

"Bon-Bon worked really, really hard to clean this floor, and... I'd really rather not risk pissing myself on it, right now."

At that, both Princess Celestia and I just stare slack-jawed at him - myself wondering why in Tartarus he used that kind of language in front of the Princess, and Princess Celestia for... some reason.

Then Princess Celestia covers her mouth and begins to shake. Finally, she bursts into a fit of laughter... something I for one didn't think I'd live to see, let alone hear.

She grips onto her chest with her hoof and keels over, letting the laughter out of her system, before tears begin to form in her eyes. To be honest, I can't tell if I'm looking at the Princess of the Sun, or a filly that just watched the funniest thing in the world fly by.

Is... is our ruler truly that humored by... vulgar language?

...

I've honestly given up at this point.

"Oh... oh, dearest me! I hope I did not leave that sort of impression on you, young one! It's just that... well, there are some kinds of risks involved with summoning beings from another world, let alone universe!" she clarifies once she's able to breathe again.

She then turns around and begins to head out. "But don't worry... you have nothing to fear of me. I only wish for what's best for my subjects... and seeing how you're amongst us now, that also goes for you, too. Be well, and good luck finding your friend."

As Sean and I make our way over into the Everfree Forest, he looks up and around the surrounding area. I, however, begin to grow a bit more curious about something else that occurred while the Princess was present.

"So you can speak fluently, now? How is that so? You were speaking almost like a Cave Pony since you've learned, up until that point!"

He scratches the back of his head, seemingly as confused as I am. "I'm not sure, really. It's... probably gonna sound strange, but to me, it felt as if she were slowly radiating some wisdom towards me... intentionally or not, I can not say."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "So she used her magic to help you better understand the Equish Language?"

He sighs, shaking his head. "Actually... it may seem a bit odd, but I don't think she was the one using magic here."

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, now growing even more curious.

He rubs his chin in thought and looks up. "To be honest... it may have something to do with that conversation Princess Luna and I had while you were out. I felt as if I were reading into her knowledge on the language, all while merely looking into her eyes."

"Wait, so you can read minds?"

He shakes his head. "Not exactly. Close, but... I think it's more along the lines of 'I can expand my current knowledge of a subject at a prolonged glance, so long as I have the basics figured out'... if that makes sense."

"Erm... not really."

He then places his hand on his forehead and hums. "Hmm... think of it like this. You and Lyra taught me the basics. You gave me the pieces of a puzzle, but it wasn't formed yet. I had a bunch of pieces still scattered around on a table. When I saw Princess Celestia, no, when I looked her in the eye, those pieces quickly merged into one within seconds. Before I knew it, the whole puzzle became one clear picture."

I rub my chin with a hoof. "Hmm... that would explain why you spaced out there... but how are you able to understand all this?"

"My wi... erm... my former wife's teachings, mostly. She helped me understand the theories and principals of all kinds of strange things, including magic and magic theory. Granted, none of it was real in our world, but it was still a fun thing to do together." he says with a smile.

Then it hits me. He said former wife... does that mean that...

"I... had no idea. I'm... I'm sorry." I tell him.

He shakes his head again. "Oh, don't be! It's... not really my wife, or rather, she was only partially my wife... I'll explain when we get to Lyra."

I sigh. Guess that's all I'm going to get from him for now... but it'll have to do.

To be honest, though, I'm actually glad to know I'm not dealing with a total nimrod for once. My life has been revolving around Lyra for so long, I guess I'm just not used to having a civilized conversation with someone of an actually adequate IQ, let alone someone that's, up until this point, been mumbling and speaking like a Neighanderthal.

Then, as we both begin to say something else, we're cut off by the sound of a growl.

I slowly turn my head towards Bon-Bon. "Umm... Bon-Bon? Did, uh... did your stomach just growl?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "No..."

We both gulp, then slowly turn around.

A pair of green eyes would be glowing right back at us from the darkness. Then, a wooden paw steps forward, followed by another. Before I even realize it, we're now face-to-face with what looks to be a wolf made entirely out of wood!

"Timberwolf..." Bon-Bon murmurs, crouching into a defensive position.

I, however, am frozen in place, as a series of emotions surge through my mind... fear, anxiety... pain? Curiosity? In a sense, I begin to understand, now.

I'm looking it in the eyes. These aren't my emotions... they're the Timberwolf's... but why pain, though?

Then it suddenly occurs to me upon looking over at its left hind leg... a leg which is caught in what looks to be a Bear Trap.

I quickly raise a hand at Bon-Bon. "Wait." I tell her.

She looks up at me curiously, but eases up. "What are you doing?"

I tune her out, and move my hand towards the Timberwolf, instead. I take a tentative step forwards, eyes still locked on his.

Naturally, he starts to growl at me.

"Easy, buddy... I'm not gonna hurt you." I coo towards him.

At this point, Bon-Bon's giving me a stare that practically screams "are you out of your damn mind?!", but I keep my eyes peeled at the Timberwolf.

He growls again, and I pause my motions; a serious, stern face adorning my features.

"It's okay..." I reassure him again.

His growling soon halts, and he raises his head up a bit, now growing more curious at me. His grassy green eyebrows arch upward, and he tilts his head slightly to the side.

I then move my hand over to his snout very slowly, until I can feel his breathing.

"You're okay, boy... I'm gonna help you. But first, I need you to trust me." I tell him calmly.

He looks over at my hand and then back up at my face.

Then, he starts to whine and presses his forehead into my palm. I gently scratch the wooden surface behind his ears, before looking down at his snared leg.

"Bon-Bon? Do you have any tools for a Bear Trap?" I ask, keeping my eyes focused on the trap in question.

"Uhh... why?" she asks.

"We need to set him free from this thing."

"Nuh-uh! No way! OUT of the question!" she retorts, shaking her head profusely.

I then drift my eyes towards her. "Look at 'em! He's hurting, though!"

She points at him and glares. "Uh, yeah! And HE happens to be a freakin' TIMBERWOLF!"

I sigh. "Timberwolf or not, he's in serious pain! Just look at 'em! He's frightened, alone, and in danger!"

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah! And when he gets let loose, we will be the ones in danger! Look, I admire your drive to help others. I really do! But this... thing... is a monster!"

I turn my head and frown at her. "And if we leave it alone like this, then we will be the monsters."

"But-"

"Bon-Bon... please, just this once, okay?" I plea to her.

Her ears fold back, and she begins to look between the Timberwolf and I, as if having an inner debate.

The Timberwolf whines again, and lowers itself to the ground, as if begging her for something.

She then sighs, before shaking her head. "Can't believe I'm even considering this... alright, fine! Here, come and reach into my bag. There's a screwdriver inside it. Just jam it into the side of the trap and turn it clockwise, then it should loosen the springs within it enough to free the thing's leg."

I smile weakly at her and nod my head. "Thank you."

"But if the thing eats you... well... let's just hope it doesn't come to that!" she says as I reach into her bag. Pulling out the flat-headed screwdriver, I head back over to the Timberwolf and do as instructed.

Sure enough, as I turn the screwdriver, the trap begins to open up. The pressure immediately makes the Timberwolf start to whine in pain and jerk its leg up.

"Just hang in there, buddy! Only a little bit more!"

I grip onto the Timberwolf's leg to steady it, then give the trap one last twist, until-

The trap opens up and falls to the ground, before snapping at the wind. The Timberwolf and I pull our appendages away from it to avoid getting snared into it, and the Timberwolf charges forward, knocking me to the ground.

"Sean!" Bon-Bon calls out, as the Timberwolf pounces up to me. I close my eyes, bracing for what comes next.

*Lick* *Lick* *Lick*

The Timberwolf starts to lick my face, and strange, green saliva and bits of tree sap cover me up. I chuckle lightly, and pet the thankful creature, as I lean back up and get back to my feet.

Now the Timberwolf is looking up at me with his tongue out, and his breathing is now quick-paced panting. I don't even need to sense his appreciation to know how grateful he is... I can tell just from looking at him.

Now that I've got a better view of 'em, though, I take a mental note of the leaf growing at the center of his forehead, leaning back. Not sure why, but perhaps they each have different patterns of wood on them?

"Alright, buddy! Now that you're free, you can head back home, now! Just, uh... try not to get caught again, right?" I tell him.

I then walk back over to Bon-Bon, who says nothing but takes her screwdriver back and stuffs it back into her bag. Then, as we go to leave, we hear the sound of scurrying leaves behind us. Turning around, we see that the Timberwolf is now following us.

"Great... now he likes us! I told you we should've left him!" she complains.

The Timberwolf whinnies a bit at her statement, and she turns around to face him. "Oh, don't give me that! Look, you're free to go now, so go home!"

He only whines once more, but stops following us briefly.

I sigh. "Aww, c'mon, Bon-Bon. If we had a, uh... Timberwolf by our side, we most likely wouldn't be bothered by any other predators out here!"

She groans again. "Fine! Just... just keep 'em closer to you, please."

With a smile and a nod, I turn around and whistle. The Timberwolf barks happily and resumes following us.

"C'mon, Bon-Bon. You gotta admit it's kinda cute in a strange sorta way." I say.

She rolls her eyes and keeps moving forward. "It's a predator that's hunted down countless ponies over many generations, since the Foundations of Equestria."

I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe this one's a Vegetarian?"

"I doubt it."

We continue to chat for a bit, before eventually, we come across a clearing. Then the Timberwolf starts to whinny and crouches down, afraid of something.

"What's wrong, boy?" I ask.

The Timberwolf nods his head towards a particular area. I look towards it, and find a strange rock with a weird pattern etched onto it.

I look back over to the Timberwolf and nod my head. "I see... you're afraid of that rock, aren't you?"

Bon-Bon clears her throat. "That's a Warder's Rune. They're used to repel beasts... which means we're close, now. Perhaps just past this treeline."

"I see... then wait here, boy. We'll be right back, okay?"

The Timberwolf barks once before lying down on the ground where he once stood, circling around a couple times before doing so.

We then cross the treeline, Bon-Bon and I, and sure enough, therein lies a strange-looking Tree Hut. We approach it carefully, with my eyes peeled on the ground in case there's some kind of trap or two lying about. Thankfully, though, there isn't, and we make it to the door without an issue.

I raise my hand to knock on the door, but Bon-Bon takes no time and kicks it open.

"Alright, LISTEN UP, YOU!" she shouts, only to pause when she sees a zebra helping administer a green gauze to the unconscious form of Lyra Heartstrings.

She doesn't seem at all fazed by Bon-Bon's actions, and even smiles upon hearing her enter.

"Ah, I see you have returned. But there truly is no need to be concerned. Your friend is doing quite alright. So please, sit down. There's no need to fight." she says without skipping a beat. She then continues to wrap a leafy bandage over one of Lyra's many wounds.

"But again, I say, you can't bring her back. Not this soon since her unfortunate attack! Please, give rest to this poor mare. She wouldn't last long without proper care."

I look at Bon-Bon, and notice that, at once, the anger in her eyes are no more. No... now she's concerned. Worried deeply. And to be honest... so am I. Looking at the condition of Lyra, we both can see that she's been through a lot.

Red spots still cover her face and her horn, which also appears to have a slight notch in it. Her hooves are covered in grassy bandages, and her torso is covered in a thick straw-woven blanket... but we can also see the corners of bandages below it.

Her eyes are closed, and her once dopey smile is now a small frown. Her breathing chest rises and falls normally, but her breathing is weaker than usual. Furthermore, tear stains can be seen matted onto her cheek fur, where she was crying hours prior.

We can see Lyra clearly, now... and for the lack of a better word, she has gone through Hell.

My eyes slowly drift open, and I look towards the nearby window. It would seem that night time has passed, and the daylight has returned.

I try to recall what happened prior, when the memories suddenly hit me. Sean and I were in the zebra's hut... or rather, Zecora, as she addressed herself last night.

I spoke with her about the situation we were in - of the arguments I had with Lyra, and all of the problems that came up because of her idiotic nature. To my relief, Zecora seemed to be understanding, and spoke her words of wisdom to me.

Long story short, she agreed that I had every right to be concerned about my friend, but that I could've handled things a lot better... and I'll admit, I might've been a bit harsh on her, even if she had it coming...

Then after going over the plans, she told me that Lyra would wake up the following morning, or this morning, technically... but that she's under a sedative to ensure she gets healed as much as she needs to handle the trip. She then suggested that I bring her to a doctor after we return to Ponyville, for further medical help.

Seeing her in her current condition, I couldn't agree more.

Soon she lets out a loud, audible yawn, which catches my attention. I approach her bed, and place a hoof on her chest.

Her eyes slowly drift open, and she looks down at me.

We both just stare at each other for what feels like eternity, until she weakly smiles at me and raises a hoof a couple inches off the blanket.

"H-heya, Bonnie..." she simply says.

At once, I'm overwhelmed with a cluster of emotions. Of all the things she could've said, of all the things I did that she could've addressed... all she does is 'Heya Bonnie' me?!

I glare at her and instinctively arch my left hoof back, causing her to flinch.

...

... But this time, I can't even have the heart to hit her.

She slowly opens her eyes and gasps. "B-Bonnie! You're crying!"

Am I? I haven't even noticed! I feel my cheeks and, sure enough, a large stream of tears have started falling down.

I sniffle a bit, still glaring at her. "S-shut up, you... y-you idiot!"

Closing my eyes, I lower my head to her chest and stretch my hoof up, embracing her in a hug - carefully so as to avoid her wounds.

She hisses slightly at the contact, but wraps her hooves around the back of my head and returns the hug. Once again, flashbacks of the past begin to haunt me, as I recall a promise I made all those years ago... a promise I broke in two the second I let her step into this Makers-forsaken forest.

I was trotting through my house with an eager kick in my step. I was already done with homework, and already done with breakfast.

Daddy was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, when he looked up from the article and raised an amused eyebrow my way.

"Hmm... you're a lot more chipper this morning, Sweetie. Something you want to talk about?" he asked.

I looked back at him and nodded my head, bouncing up and down. "Uh-huh! Today I get to hang out with my new friend again!"

"Ah... that Lyra character you mentioned last night over dinner?" he inquired, recalling the conversation we had when I got back from school yesterday.

I nodded my head again. "Yes, sir! And we agreed we'd hang out a little bit before the school bell rings, too!"

"That's great, but just remember, Sweetie."

"I know, Daddy. I'm always going to be Bon-Bon to them at school, including my friends I make along the way."

"Correct... because?"

I sighed. "Because the bad ponies would be able to trace me to you, and take you away forever."

He smiled at me and rubbed my mane. "Good job. Who knows? Maybe someday you'll grow up to be an agent like me!"

"Heh... I doubt it, Daddy. I kinda wanted to make candy, to be honest."

He nodded his head. "Both can be arranged, actually. Perhaps-"

Suddenly both of our ears twitched at the sound of the door knocking rapidly. I hurried to the door behind my Daddy, who rushed there first, and opened it.

Lyra was standing on the other side, worriedly looking up at Daddy, who in turn, looked calmly and casually at her in response.

"Pwease! Hewp me!" she said between tears.

"Lyra!" I called out, rushing over to my friend. I looked over and saw a group of older-looking ponies glaring at her. I then looked up at Daddy worriedly. "D-daddy? W-who are they?!"

He sighed and closed his eyes, adjusting the tie on his jacket. "Get inside, little ones. And Bon-Bon, please fix her up a glass of water."

"Yes, sir!" I said. Lyra and I immediately rushed inside while Daddy stepped out and closed the door behind us. I then did as instructed and get some water for Lyra. "What happened?" I asked her, passing the glass to her.

"I-it was howwible, Bonnie! Dey twied to huwt me! And... a-and now dey aww gunna huwt youw daddy!" she cried.

I smirked and shook my head. "I doubt it... come, let's watch and see what happens!"

She nodded her head and followed me to the window. There, I saw my daddy approach the bullies with a stern look in his eye.

As I approached the brutes, I already had a plan on how to defeat them easily... question was, would I need to resort to such actions, for the sake of a strange filly that my daughter befriended?

I figured not.

And so, I spoke to their ring leader. "Excuse me, sir. Mind if I ask what exactly is going on here?"

"Beat it, Grandpa! We're here for the unicorn!" one of them, the Ring Leader, said to me.

The one at his left nodded his head. "Yeah! After what she said, she's got it coming to her!"

"And what, pray tell, did she say?" I asked them, knowing fully well that there's no reasoning with these ones.

"Doesn't matter, Gramps! Now step aside so we can deal with her!" the leader says.

"Or we'll deal with your daughter as well!" the third one said.

This made me smirk a little. "I'm afraid neither option will be available to you lot. Your only option will be to leave this place. Your condition, of course, depends on your next course of action."

They laugh before the leader motions towards me to his comrades. They both quickly rush over to my sides and grip onto my upper hooves, holding me for the leader to possibly get some free shots in.

I, however, am more focused on the door opening and my daughter and her friend, Lyra as she called her, stepping out.

"Daddy!" my dearest daughter cries out, looking at me worriedly.

I look over behind my shoulders and urge her, "Bonnie, Lyra, close your eyes! You don't want to see this!"

I closed my eyes and heard the sound of punches, grunts, and yelps. It only took a few seconds, however, before I slowly opened my eyes. Lyra opened hers as well, and together, our jaws dropped at the sight before us.

The bullies all three fell to the ground, unconscious, while Daddy simply dusted off his jacket and approached us.

Lyra was the first to word our her thoughts. "Whoa..."

Daddy said nothing on his way over to us. Then, when he was within reach, he gently patted me on the head and winked. "Don't worry, girls. Those ruffians won't be an issue to you both again, as long as I'm around!"

He then looked over at Lyra, who was still staring at him like a child would look at their biggest idol. "Young Lyra, was it? Would you care to join us on our way to school? I'll explain the situation to your teachers, so you don't have to worry about being late."

"I-I'd... I'd LOVE to, mittthter!" she cheered through her retainer. Then we all had a nice, lovely introduction to each other, before Daddy, true to his word, brought us both to school.

School was a fairly boring day, but to me, it was a lot more enjoyable with Lyra around. I found her quirky behavior to be something else. She definitely stood out from the rest of my peers... if anything, I was beginning to think she was more than just some random filly I met yesterday.

I almost felt like we're practically sisters by now! Or, you know, gal-pals at least...

When we were on our way back home, I invited her to hang out with me. She said she would, but she'd have to talk to her parents first. I agreed to go with her, then, as my Daddy was very understanding and lenient when it came to me arriving at home. That, plus his work always kept him very busy, so it was usually just me taking care of myself while he was working.

Eventually we reached her house, and this time it was me who was caught off-guard! Her home was... a luxurious mansion, about three stories high! Her walls were about as minty as her coat, and her roof was about as white as her mane... it was almost like the entire house was built for her!

"C'mon! I'ww intwaduthe you to muy famiwy!" she said, leaning up and patting on the door.

Immediately, a tall, skinny unicorn stallion answered the door, snout held high, and tuxedo donned on. His front hooves were in white gloves, and he was, without a doubt, giving off the impression of a "butler".

Then, when he spoke, he spoke in a formal tone, addressing it towards Lyra.

"Ah, Misses Heartstrings! Welcome home! Would you and your company care for an escort to the Game Room? Your sister has already left it for you, and is now assisting Master Heartstrings with her baking, after all!"

I just continue to stare slack-jawed. Of all the lovable idiots that I rescued in my life... the first and only one happened to be a freakin' NOBLE'S DAUGHTER?!

... AND THEY HAVE A GAME ROOM!

We sat there in the Game Room for what feels like hours, playing the Pony Station 2. It was an intense battle between friends, as round after round, I found myself getting my flank kicked by Lyra. Who knew a weenie like her could memorize combos and moves like that?! It's... it's almost like she was a trained killer with a controller!

"C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!" the announcer shouted on the TV as my fighter finally managed to land a hit after the Minotaur Warrior landed, like, 99 hits on me.

Lyra then smiled and tsked, tapping a shoulder button as I hit the breaker move.

"COUNTER!" the announcer shouted, catching my fighter's hoof with those odd digits, before balling up his other fist, flexing back, and crashing it into my Fighter's face, knocking him out in a massive strike that made a crashing sound similar to an explosion, and sent my poor Fighter flying all the way across the screen.

"KO! METAL HEART WINS!" the announcer finally called out, while I growled and tossed my hooves in the air, letting the controller fall to the floor.

"Oh, COME ON!" I shout, while Lyra giggled and gently placed her controller on the coffee table.

"It's awwight, Bonnie! We can pway thomething elthe together!" she offered, to which I groaned and sat back in my beanbag chair.

"Yes, please... this game cheats too much..." I grumbled, having had enough defeats for one lifetime. The 50 victories to 0 on her side only tells me as such that either Lyra's Maker-Tier at this game, or I just plain suck at it... or both.

Lyra looked worriedly at me and gently placed a hoof on my shoulder. "I'm thorry, Bonnie. I should've gone eathier on you... I jutht haven't won that game in tho long, thinth my thithter beatth me... like, punchies on the thoulder every time I win..."

I smiled back at her and placed a hoof on her own. "Don't worry, Lyra. Despite me doing a horrible job at that game... I had fun! And that's what games are all about, isn't it? Just having fun?"

She perked up at that and nodded her head. "Y-yeah! Hey! What if we played Pranth-Pranth Wevoluthion together, inthtead?!"

I, myself, perked up at that. A game where we move a lot? Now that sounds right up my alley!

As the arrows kept rising up, we moved our hooves with the beat, knocking the whole scoreboard up with our teamwork. Lyra and I just kept moving with the beat, dancing to the pop music playing in the surround-sound speakers, and before long, we took the Leaderboard with flying colors.

We panted and looked at each other after the announcer went, "NEW HIGH SCORE!" and squealed happily, hugging each other for our perfect synchronized victory.

"We did it! We got a new high score!" I called out.

She replied, "Yeth! Firtht time I actually won thith game, too!"

Then we soon realized that we were cuddling, and our cheeks started to fluster up. We quickly broke from the hug and giggled, looking away from each other.

Then she looked over at me and smiled a bit more brighter. "Hey... thankth for hanging out with me... and for thticking up for me."

I looked back at her and smirked. "Hey, don't sweat it! I've gotta say thank you for inviting me here! Your place is amazing, Lyra!"

She then looked over at the wall clock and frowned. "I gueth it'th about time to go, though, huh?"

I sighed, nodding my head. "Yeah... but hey! Maybe we can hang out again tomorrow?"

She smiled and nodded her head. "I'd LOVE to!" She then started to shift into a more uncomfortable expression. "But... what if thothe bullieth come back again?!"

I rubbed my snout in thought before giving her a determined look. Then I walked over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder, making her look towards me again, and into the eyes.

"Listen to me, Lyra... no matter what happens, remember this!"

I then smiled once more at her and gently brushed her cheek. "As long as we're together, I will never let anything hurt you!"

"I will never let anything hurt you!"
"... never let anything hurt you!"

I stand there, crying my eyes out while Lyra just continues to hug me. Despite the promise I made to protect her... how can she still be hugging me like this?!

"W-why did you run away?" I whisper to her, unable to find my voice strong enough to speak.

She looks away from me in shame. Tears begin to well from her eyes again. She closes them and then replies, "I... I'm not a good friend for you, Bonnie... a-and... all I ever did was ruin other ponies' lives... other creatures' lives! I took poor Sean away from his family! I-I... I got in your way, and ruined your life! I practically destroyed Ponyville by letting fillies who were obviously going to bring an Ursa Major into it find the cave! I just... I felt like you'd be better off without me, Bonnie... a-and... and I felt that the world would be better off if I just left... m-maybe it would've been better if I didn't survive that-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Lyra!" I growl to her, tightening my hug. She whines a bit in pain, but I continue. "If you think for one more moment that you're a horrible friend to me, then I swear to Celestia, I'll... I'll knock some sense into you when you get better!"

I pull her face to where she's looking me in the eyes. She opens her eyes again and cries a bit more, but I continue. "I swore nothing would hurt you, and yet I drove you away! I was the reason you ran, Lyra... sure, a bunch of shit happened. It happens all the damn time... but nothing! NOTHING... can excuse me for the way I've been treating you lately! You've always been the one who cheered me up when I was down, you've always found new, interesting ways to entertain me when I felt bored of everything... you've even given up your regal life just to live with me! A simple little pony in Ponyville!"

I gently remove my hooves from her body and gently brush her tears from her cheeks. "Lyra... I'd be nothing without you!"

She slowly brings her own hoof up to wrap it onto mine. "D-do... do you really mean it, Bonnie?"

I exhale a bit, before nodding my head. "Of course, Lyra... why would I lie to you about that?"

She smiles even brighter now, nodding her head. "Y-yeah... you're right. You haven't lied to me yet, after all!"

I smile back at her, though something bugs me about that statement. "Y-yeah... exactly!"

"I want to tell you, Lyra... b-but I can't. Oh, how I wish she could know just how terrible of a friend I really am..."

My thoughts soon turn towards the mare before me. I lean back up and gently press my lips onto her forehead, carefully so as to not get poked by her horn. Her cheeks immediately glow pink at the sudden unexpected contact, and all I can really muster up is a smile, before turning around to head back to the couch.

"Get well soon, Lyra." I say... to which she simply nods her head.

Then my thoughts start to badger me. "Did I really just kiss my best friend?!"

It's been a long night, but eventually, I find myself waking back up. Looking around, the first thing I notice is that I'm still in Equestria. However, that's not an issue in my books.

No, what is the issue is that I'm not in the Basement!

Then memories of last night fill my head. I'm still in the Everfree Forest... and more specifically, I'm with Bon-Bon, Lyra, and the zebra who called herself "Zecora". The one with the cool rhyming thing going on.

Speaking of which, I wonder where she's at? I sit up and notice that I'm in the Living Room, lying on a hammock. Across from the room is Bon-Bon, and towards my feet is the now-awake form of...

"Lyra!" I say with a smile.

She weakly smiles back at me while I stand back up and rush over towards her. "H-heya, Sean... s-sorry about-"

"Don't." I say, shaking my head. "I'm the one who's sorry here. I was upset, but I shouldn't have-"

"No, Sean... I deserved it. I deserved everything I got for what I did to you... I... I took you away from-"

I cover her mouth with a finger. "No, you didn't."

This makes both her and Bon-Bon raise an ear my way. "What do you mean I didn't? Y-you said that-"

"What's this about, anyways?" Bon-Bon asks, approaching us. "You mentioned it to me earlier... well, Lyra's awake now, and we're all at the same place, so... what did you mean you were and were not married and with a family?"

I take a deep breath, before looking between the two of them. "The truth is... I'm not entirely Human, after all..."

I was standing there... or was I floating? I couldn't tell, honestly. One moment I was with Lyra and Bon-Bon... next thing I knew, there was the blue Alicorn... and then, well... there was darkness.

"Interesting plane thy mind brings up..." a deep feminine voice echoed behind me.

Instinctively, I turned around and was met face-to-face with the Alicorn in question.

Recalling the knowledge Lyra gave me, I was quick to bow my head... but she raised a hoof up and beckoned me back to my feet. "At ease, Sir Sean... if that is what thou goes by?"

I raised my head back up, looking at her incredulously. "Y-you... know my name?" I asked.

She nodded her head and smiled. "Indeed. When in the Dreamscape, We art able to look through the memories of all within it!"

"Dreamscape? We? You mean there are more Alicorns?" I asked, my curiosity growing more with each word she spoke.

Then it occurred to me. "And... how are you able to speak English?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Young one, thou mustn't overwork thyself with such questions! We shall surely answer them all for thee!"

She cleared her throat and approached me. I couldn't find myself able to move at all, despite how much I wanted to step back a bit.

Then she stopped and frowned. "Thou fears us, too... we understand thy discomfort, and shall not approach thee any closer."

"S-sorry, Your Highness... it's just that, well, I was told you have the ability to kill me with a mere thought. It... kinda feels like I'm in the presence of a Goddess..." I admitted, to which she raised an eyebrow.

"Who, pray tell, told thee that kind of thing?!" she asked incredulously. Her cheeks also started to flush a tiny bit... perhaps because of me addressing her as a 'goddess'.

"And please... do not think of us as goddesses, mine sister and I. We are powerful, most certainly, but by no means are we that powerful!" she said, rubbing a hoof against her leg. "Though thou hast our gratitude for thine compliments, nonetheless!"

Seeing her acting a bit more like a normal... well... a normal-in-THIS-world mare... it made me feel a lot more at ease. I then smiled and bowed my head politely at her.

"But I only speak the truth, Your Highness. With powers like yours, compared to my own, it's an overwhelming difference!" I said, to which she brightened up a bit at that.

She even giggled a tiny bit. "Yes, well, we believe thy questions must be answered. After all, there's a limited amount of time before thou wakest up."

"Right... so, I guess the first thing I'd like to know is... how can you speak English? Old World or otherwise, I have to wrap my head around the... Equish Language... and yet you speak it so fluently!"

She shook her head. "Ah, so thou hearest us speaking thy own tongue... in truth, 'tis but a trick of the mind."

"A... what?" I scratched my head in confusion.

"When communicating with one's mind, thou doesn't hear a true written language, but rather, a universal understanding. In short, when speaking with Magic, it automatically translates one's own tongue to that of thine own knowledge... regardless of what language we speak." she explained.

I rubbed my chin in thought. "So it's basically a Universal Translator?"

She nodded her head again. "Indeed."

"I see, then... that's good to know."

I then thought about the other questions I had.

"So this Dreamscape... that's where we are?" I asked. She nodded her head in response, driving me to add, "And where exactly is the Dreamscape? It kinda looks like Outer Space..."

"The Dreamscape is the embodiment of Magic, itself. It is where Magic originated from, as well as where one's spirit goes when they find Rest, both Eternal and Otherwise."

"So we're basically in Heaven?" I asked.

She rubbed her chin in thought. "Hmm... thou may call it such, though in truth, the Dreamscape is merely a single part of it. When one goes to the Land of the Divines, which is within the Dreamscape, it is usually where they go to find Eternal Rest."

"I don't get it... so the Dreamscape isn't Heaven, but at the same time, it is?" I scratched my head again, growing even more confused.

"What's there not to understand, young one? Dost thou not recall the term, 'Resting in Peace' when one Departs from their life?"

"I get that, but... well, I guess I just didn't expect Heaven to be nothing more than an endless dream, that's all..." I admitted with a shrug.

She then raised a hoof. "Ah, but therein lies a question we must ask thee! What, to thou, art a dream?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but paused for a moment. No doubt, this was a question that one needed to ponder. Seeing no other choice, however, I had to at least give her an answer.

"It's, uh... images in one's head?"

She waves her hoof as if implying for me to go on.

"Images that we can enjoy? Because... they tell us what we want?" I guess.

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Thou art only guessing... thou doesn't truly know a dream, dost thou?"

"No, ma'am, Your Highness... I guess I've never really thought about it too deeply." I, once more, admitted to her.

She placed a wing on my shoulders and motioned a distance away. "Dreams are more than mere images. They are lives our spirits live, separate from our bodies. Out-Of-Body experiences, if thou will. They give us knowledge through living, rather than listening. 'Tis why one hears a story, and may dream of said story in detail."

She then lit her horn up and motioned for me to follow her down the path of empty space. I followed her instinctively, as soon a seemingly endless hallway appeared before us, with numerous doors within it; each with several lights of various colors within them.

"Are these..." I began, to which she nodded.

"Indeed... this is thine own personal memories thou holdest dearly." she said. With her horn pointed towards one of the doors nearest to us, she opened it using her magic, and motioned for me to step inside.

Once inside, I looked around the field. Immediately, I recognized it.

"This is the field I dreamed about when I first met..." I was rendered speechless when I saw a young couple standing at the top. One of them was me... and the other one...

"... Janet..." I whispered.

The princess nodded her head. "Indeed... when one steps within these doors, they relive their dreams, be they good or otherwise."

Then another thought occurred. "Wait... but if we relive our dreams, then... why am I standing there, on top of the hill? I don't remember there being two of me in my dream!"

The princess tensed up a bit. She then closed her eyes and sighed. "This... is where things will trouble thee, I'm certain."

I looked at her and tilted my head. "What do you mean? Why am I not reliving this? Why am I just watching it, if I'm supposed to relive it?"

She looked me in the eyes and frowned. "It is because thou art not actually Sean."

I blink owlishly at her. "Uh... yeah, I kinda am. I mean, why wouldn't I-"

"Maybe I can help you with this one, Your Highness?" came a familiar voice beside us. We both turned our heads and, to my utter shock, I was looking at perhaps one of the most handsome faces I'd ever lay eyes on.

...

Okay, joking aside, it turned out I was looking at myself, but... surprisingly older and more mature.

"Hello, Sean... it's interesting to meet you here, isn't it?" he asked me.

All I could respond with was a blink, eye-rubbing, and a very astounding "What the hell?!"

I almost felt like hyperventilating at that point. The... well... "me" that was standing on top of the hill was now at the bottom of the hill where we stood, though aged up even more than he was at the top... almost like he grew older the more he approached us. Looking up, I've noticed that the wind had stopped moving, the leaves on the tree were floating in the air. Then, in mere seconds, everything faded back into the Hallway, with the door sealing shut beside me.

I looked around for the princess, but she was nowhere to be seen! Now it was just me, and... well, myself.

Then the other me spoke. "Come along, Sean... there's something you have to see."

I gulped, before nodding my head and following behind him as he began making his way down the hallway.

So many of the memories were so familiar to me. I could see how Janet and I first went out through one doorway, then how we got into all kinds of mischief together. We would always sneak out at night and visit old, abandoned houses... it was in one in particular that we discussed the existence of Magic, as well as the theories behind it.

I, of course, didn't believe any of it... but whatever it took to make her happy, right?

"Janet was an amazing woman... wasn't she?" he asked me.

I nodded my head, looking into one memory in particular. The one where she told me she was having a baby... my child.

This... this was my last memory before being dragged into Equestria.

"I know how smart we are, Sean... you can see the truth, can't you?" he asked me.

I gulped before nodding my head slowly. The realization was becoming grimly clear to me...

We were in my Hall of Memories... and yet, despite this door leading to my last memory... I looked to the side.

The seemingly endless hall had so much more doors in it... more memories than I do.

"So... if you're really Sean, then who am I?" I asked him.

He rubbed his chin in thought, before shrugging his shoulders. "You know how we are about understanding Magic... we just can't understand it very clearly on our own."

I threw my arms out. "So what, then, do I just call myself 'Mr. Anonymous' or something?!"

He shook his head. "Of course not. You and I are still one in the same, just... you've been created by my memories."

"Oh come on, Sean... you're confusing him!" a feminine voice called out from the darkness of the hallway. I turned towards it, and gasped at the red-haired beauty that stood before me, dressed in a white silk gown.

"Janet!" I said, my shock clear and true. "But I thought that... what happened?!"

Janet smiled brightly at me and approached, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"Oh, Sean... isn't it obvious?" she asked.

I looked over at the hallway again. The other me stood there, leaning against the wall... his hair at this point was pure white.

I turned back towards Janet, and then it dawned onto me...

She was also much older, now... her hair, bright red just a few seconds ago, was now as pure white as my other self's.

"You... we... we grew old together... lived our lives... then... then we..." I couldn't believe it... and yet, the truth was right there.

Janet... myself... we were... no... we are... dead.

"How long?" I simply asked her.

"Countless millennia, I'm afraid. When one enters the Dreamscape, time itself has no meaning." she replied.

I nodded my head in understanding. So I was dead. I lived with her, we had our lives... but it doesn't explain enough.

"Why can't I remember anything past your pregnancy?" I asked her.

Her response was... a bit more educated than I realized. "It's because Lyra created you out of Sean's memories, the moment she summoned you."

"Wait... how do you..."

"I've been watching you, Sean... and now that you're here, with me... with us, including yourself, I feel like we can tell you something you need to hear now, more than anything."

"And... that is?" I asked, a bit hesitant to hear her answer.

She closed her eyes, while the other me limped over towards her, placing an arm around her shoulder. Then they both reached out and held my shoulders simultaneously.

"Sean... we want you to find closure in your old life... so that you might live this new one freely." she replied.

Then... suddenly, the doors to the entire hallway opened up... my whole life flashed before my eyes. I could see it, now.

We named our son James. He grew up to become a famous writer, and sold countless stories that would entertain the world.

We went on our honeymoons at a private island, where we spent the evenings beneath the sun, cuddling and relaxing together until the break of dusk.

James was always there for us when we grew older. We would always show our appreciation, no matter how simple the favor.

...

James was standing there on my death bed. Janet was there, on the other side. I was... about 85 or so... but I knew it was the end for me.

On my dying breath, I told them how much I loved them. I told my son that he was in charge of the family, now.

And I couldn't be more proud of him.

I smiled, and looked my beloved wife in the eyes... I told her that I'll be waiting patiently for her.

And she smiled back... we lived a happy life.

I lived a happy life...

... And then... I went to sleep for the last time.

I never woke up past that point. Ever since, I've been in the Dreamscape, reliving the best moments, and enjoying the peace and tranquility of my own personal area.

Then... she returned to me before I even realized.

Janet and I were together again.

I breathed heavily as the memories finished flowing into my mind. I felt almost sweaty.

"What... what just..." I began, but Janet's voice echoed in my mind.

"It is as we just said, Sean... we wanted to give you closure."

I nodded my head. "Yeah... but... I still don't get something. When Lyra created me, why didn't I get all the memories?"

"It was all part of your age. When she cast that spell, she summoned a human close to her age... or rather, she created a clone of a human using a mixture of Time Magic and Universal Teleportation. However... it didn't go completely correctly. When she created you, she created you using the Dreamscape's Magic, when she wanted to summon a human... and with it, you were created, and aged accordingly.

"As such, your memories only matched that of the age you currently stand at. That is... until we gave you access to the original Sean's memories."

I held up my hand. "Wait a second... but if that's the case, why didn't it just summon a human? Why did it create one, instead?"

"Because, Sean... it has been countless millennia. At this point, we have gone extinct." she replied solemnly.

"Extinct?! But... but..."

"It is an unfortunate truth... however, there is a silver lining behind that."

"And what, pray tell, is that silver lining?" I asked.

"The ponies. They are our legacy. They are the ones that we helped create. Because of this, our memory lives on in their hearts, and in their blood!"

"And... how did we create them?"

"By harnessing the Magic in the air, of course. Eventually, we knew that we were dying out... and so, the torch had to be passed on to the next ones in the Line of Control. Otherwise, the world would've remained as it was going to be.

"Eventually, the moon stopped moving, and the Earth stopped turning. At that point, the world was burning on one side, and freezing on another. We had no other choice, but to turn to the Magic for guidance. In the end, though, we fell... and from the ashes of our falling, came Princess Amore... the first Unicorn.

"Yes, she wasn't an Alicorn... but despite this, her powers were beyond the cosmos... she rerouted the solar system, and using her magic, was able to bring new life to the world."

"And what became of this Princess Amore?" I asked, now growing more interested in this.

"Unfortunately, she was betrayed by one of her dearest subjects. In the end, he turned her to stone, then shattered her pieces, and scattered them across the world."

I whistled. "Well damn... that's a bit harsh, don't you think?" I commented. Truth be told, I had no idea how we were pressing into Equestrian History, though it was, at least, able to answer what became of us, and how things went from there.

"Indeed." Janet replied. "I'm... glad that you finally had closure to your sorrows, Sean."

"Yeah... wait, what happens now?" I asked.

"Well... that's up to you to decide, now! If I recall, don't you have a friend that desperately needs your help?"

"Lyra... shit, I almost forgot!" I called out. "But... how do I get back from-"

Before I could even finish my sentence, however, my eyes shot open, and I was once again in the land of the living. Over my body, the blue princess was looking down at me, comforting me with her hooves brushing against my hair like a mother would her child.

"Thou had a lot to take in, Sir Sean. And now... thou shouldn't bottle up thy emotions." she said soothingly.

I closed my eyes. The world was spinning at this point. My memories from within the Dreamscape remained as clear as day to me.

So all this time... all these memories... they were all just the memories left behind from a former life... and now, I truly am alone.

I can't go back home... because there no longer is a home. Humanity... Janet... my family... they've been dead all this time.

Sure, I've had closure from them. They gave me the rest of the memories... and yet, despite this, I can't shake the cold, hard feeling of lineliness from my system.

And so, with that burden filling my mind, I couldn't control myself any longer.

I instinctively sat up, wrapped my arms around the loving blue princess, and cried like a child.